by Solo & Jo
On Tuesday, Jin wakes up at ten and goes to buy himself
some cigarettes. He has to buy a lighter too, it's been that long, and
he sits himself down on a damp bench in the park because he doesn't
know how he feels about smoking at home, even now.
The plastic wraps have changed and Jin feels young
fiddling the pack open, sticking one between his lips. But like the
guitar, there's a memory in his fingers, and how to draw the air.
The taste is like something dead rolling in his mouth.
He coughs. It's disgusting, and then the high spreads up along the back
of neck and into his head, like a cold clean shower.
God, yes. That.
It still tastes revolting, and his lungs are in protest.
But he's awake, and it feels wonderful. His prize at the end of a
decade. He was maybe fifteen when he last felt a smoke kick like this.
He smokes the first one down slowly, while staring off
into the park, at wet branches and trees still dark from yesterday's
rain. When he lights the second, the taste's no longer so bad.
This is stupid. It took him ages to quit, it was hard,
and here he is, dumb like a high schooler, endangering himself the way
a dad shouldn't. But for the first time since yesterday morning he's
stopped shaking, one way or the other.
He pushes out his cigarette when it's done, hides it
behind the same clump of grass as the first.
It's left a faint trace on his fingers. On Kame's hands
the smell is older, goes deeper.
How many times will he wake up now to thoughts of Kame's
hands at his hips? Often enough to turn him back into a chain smoker?
That would be intriguing, because he can't afford that,
he'd need more Kame cash and that would just be... ironic. He laughs,
and fuck here's the coughing fit.
He leans back on the bench, time on his hands and the
sky getting lighter. Kame won't call today. Kame will be busy.
He got no update on SMAP yesterday. Or this morning.
Sleep and drift and dream. Of things Kame can do, to Julie and Jun and
Koki and middle-aged independent pop idols. To Jin.
Is that going to be his new thing? Like cigarettes, the
kick and the high, the restlessness when he doesn't get it.
He stubs the third one out early. Whatever he is, he's
not going to be stupid, and maybe if he stops now,
he won't miss it again.
It's Friday and Kame still hasn't called. Jin's not
waiting, as such, but when he sits with his afternoon tea, he thinks
Kame could really send him an e-mail, just to keep him in the loop. Or
Nothing in the news, no new drama. He hasn't smoked a
cigarette, either. He kept the pack because hey, paid for, and it's
sitting in a drawer, and he hasn't touched it.
Nino's been on Music Japan with FUNky5's Mr Dark, who
is called Oda-san, dueting the apology song. Jin watched the whole
thing, kept grinning throughout.
He feels strangely at rest. And he's not really pissy
about the lack of e-mails. It would just be nice to know if—
His phone rings, the familiar tone.
"Slum City Host Club," Jin says, "how may we help you?"
There's a moment of silence at the other end. Jin
figures this whole thing must be very healthy for Kame, putting him in
touch with normal people and a sense of humor.
"I have one more meeting to take care of, but I should
be done in about an hour. I can be at your place in two, maybe two and
a half. Does that work for you?"
Jin nods into the receiver. Two-hour notice, Kame's
getting really accommodating these days. "I'll be
And that's that.
He looks around. The place has been reasonably tidy
since Wednesday. Not much left to do.
He shaves again, not that it's really necessary. Then he
takes a long shower. Washes his hair, not that that's necessary either.
But, well, plenty of time.
Plenty of time to dry it and style it, to contemplate
cologne and decide on the one he's made last since 2019.
His shirt's ironed. But he'll get the bed out, clean
sheets on, before he gets dressed.
Dressed to undress.
None of it takes long; even wasting time he's still
ready half an hour early. He even washed up some glasses. He finished
the last two beers over the course of the week, but Kame will bring
more. Something to look forward to.
The beer, right.
He looks at himself in the mirror, hair and shirt and
all, and sticks his tongue out at himself. Then he sits down on the
futon and leisurely avenges pigs on his tab while he waits.
The bell rings at seven. Jin rolls up on his feet and
clears his throat. Then he looks at the spot where he sat on the bed
and smoothes out the sheet.
"Hello, you're early," he says when he swings the door
Kame's in the regular suit, a pink shirt with a wide
collar, no tie, a plastic bag in hand. "I thought I was right on time."
"Exactly," Jin says and lets Kame step in, takes the bag
off him. It's heavier than usual. "No over-running meetings?" God, now
he makes business small talk.
"No, it was fine," Kame says. He blinks around the room,
and Jin notices his hair is meticulously fluffy and light. A small
silver hoop goes through his left ear. Jin's intrigued, but looks away
before Kame notices.
"Anyway, let me put that away," he says, and deals with
the beer, which is six bottles this week plus a pretty snazzy looking
sake. "Impressive," Jin comments, though he feels stupidly fake.
Kame shrugs. "It was there." His eyes have a pinched
look to them that makes Jin guess eyedrops, concealer, the works.
"Long week?" he asks.
"Indeed," Kame says. "In a good way, and in no small
part thanks to you. But long enough that I really hope it's over now."
It's the first time Jin's heard Kame coming close to
admitting he's tired.
"So... this isn't half an hour?"
It takes Kame a moment to place that. "Well," he says
stiffly, "it may or may not be." It lacks the usual bite, though Jin
thinks it's not for want of effort. "But I do assume that unless random
disasters strike, which of course they might, I'm off schedule for the
rest of the day."
"Okay," Jin says, while his brain's still sorting that.
Kame, taking a night off. Talk about unexpected. "Good for you, I mean.
Probably about time."
Kame doesn't dignify that with a comment, but he takes
his jacket off and drapes it over Jin's chair.
"Have you eaten anything today?"
"I do eat," Kame says a little sharply. "I'm not
nineteen, Jin. I have—" He shuts up.
Jin feels a grin coming on. "You set yourself an alert?"
"I haven't had dinner, in any case."
Well, that's an easy fix. "Me neither," Jin says. "How
about I run down to the conbini and get us something to eat?"
"I don't—" Kame processes like he's not handling
surprises with his usual efficiency.
"You can still fuck me after you've had some food," Jin
says, easy as pie, and pockets his wallet.
"Okay, sure," Kame says eventually.
Very long week, Jin guesses. He grabs his keys, says,
"Don't let anybody in," and off he goes. If Kame replies, he doesn't
It takes him less than ten minutes to buy two bento at
half price, four different onigiri, and a couple of dorayaki for sweet.
When he's letting himself into the apartment again he finds Kame on the
futon right where he was last time, fully dressed with a bottle of beer
in his hand, his head leaned back, eyes on nothing.
He looks like an elegant zombie.
"We have food," Jin says, which shouldn't startle Kame
after keys and doors and everything, but somehow Kame seems to wake up.
"Okay," he says, rolling his shoulders.
Times like this, it'd be nice to have a full-size table.
They have to eat on the futon and Jin puts the stuff down for them with
a twinge of worry about the sheets, and gets himself a beer.
Kame's bottle's half empty. "You're taking it fast
today," Jin says.
Kame just shrugs. "Don't have to drive." He goes for one
of the bentos without hesitation.
Today's just full of surprises. "You didn't take the
"Taxi." Kame is making short work of the rice. Jin can't
disapprove of either, the shovelling or the taxi. "Seemed to make
Jin thinks so too, and not only because Kame hardly
seems fit to drive even without the alcohol.
"From the SMAP offices?"
Kame shakes his head, swallows down a fish. "Was there
yesterday, but no time to come here. PV filming."
Right. Sometimes Jin forgets that in among all these
things, Kame is also still a functioning superstar.
"So are they on board?"
Kame gives him one brief suspicious look over his
chopsticks, but then he nods. "Yes. If everything works out with the
"You've found her?"
"Hokkaido." Kame takes a long, satisfied swig from his
bottle. "We're flying her in tomorrow morning." He takes a deep, deep
breath. The bottle is empty.
"Congratulations," Jin says. "So she's going to help
"We can get her nailed for the drugs. That was the flaw
in the plan, makes her vulnerable. She's pragmatic." There's a hint of
admiration in Kame's voice when he adds, "Very enterprising young
"But you haven't… you haven't met her, right?"
"Video conference. Even so… with that charisma, she
could lead SBY64. Julie made a smart choice."
It creeps Jin out, hearing Kame evaluate Julie's
conspiracy performance, but maybe that's what you do when you're trying
to be better.
"She told us how Julie gave her access to the targets
and plenty of private info. I can't wait to see Julie's face when the
questions start." The satisfaction is back; Jin just thinks of what the
girl knew and how she got close, pretended…
"I'd like to tell Nakamaru about her," he says. "I feel
he should know she's... she's not worth thinking about anymore."
Kame's smile disappears entirely. But at least he
considers it. Slowly.
"I understand that," he says in the end. "But I'd
appreciate it if you gave me more time. There's a bigger picture, and
I'm not ready to move, not yet. A few weeks wouldn't make a difference
for him. Would they?"
After five years, probably not. "I can wait," Jin says.
"Just... keep it in mind."
Kame polishes off the dorayaki, too, and Jin gets him a
second beer. Clears the plastic and bags and chopstick wrappers away.
No stains on the sheet. Score.
Jin gets back down on the futon too, and then... Kame is
staring at Jin's socks. Or somewhere thereabouts. It feels like a long
time that nothing happens, when things have always just happened.
Finally Kame's gaze slips up, another odd blink. Maybe
he's noticing Jin did his hair. Jin would make fun of him if he knew
how, and if Kame was less adrift.
"You look very good in that shirt," Kame says, staring.
Jin can stare too. And pay attention. "You look like you
haven't slept in a week."
"I sleep," Kame says. "I've slept."
No doubt. On Tuesday, maybe. "Bet you don't have an
alert for it, though."
"Idiot," Kame says without sting. For a moment he seems
to be mapping Jin's shirt again, Jin's neck, because Jin can feel the
"You've got the whole night?" Jin asks.
"Unless disasters strike, yeah, yeah." Jin takes a
breath and looks squarely at Kame. "Why don't you just crash for a few
Instantly, Kame looks more awake than he has all night.
"That is not necessary."
"I know," Jin says peacefully. "But you'll feel better."
He gets up again before Kame can organize his protest, and gets his
pillow from the wardrobe. "Here," he says. At least Kame's catch is
still decent. "Fuck me after you've had some sleep."
Kame is holding the pillow, staring at it like he caught
a star and doesn't believe his luck. "I can't, though," he says, eyes
"I'll keep an eye on your phone," Jin says. Funny how
natural it seems to think this through as Kame would. "If you give me
your password, I'll stay on top of your mail. Wake you up if anything
comes in that looks urgent."
"This is ridiculous," Kame says, shaking his head, but
he's not letting go of the pillow. Which has a week-old cover on it,
but Jin figures it's better not to interfere. Then Kame says,
"7161582." Jin blinks. "Ran1582. Not a word."
"Wouldn't dream of it."
"Okay," Kame says, in a tone of board meetings and tight
schedules. Next on the schedule: sleep.
He stretches out while Jin pulls the curtains shut.
Closes his eyes.
"Don't let me sleep too long," he mumbles, and Jin makes
a solemn promise as he wedges himself in a corner with Kame's phone and
Kame gets a lot of e-mail. Jin scrolls and scrolls,
trying to read without reading. Banal stuff, here a dinner invite,
there a company update. Kame is a curled lump on the futon, not much
but his hair visible at the top, his ass sticking out. It's filled out
some. Jin catches up on the world and reads music reviews, starts to
fiddle with some lyrics he was writing and stops again because it
doesn't work in the silence.
Kame's slept for two and a half hours when a message
from a Y.K. comes in that concerns 'flight times tomorrow.' Jin chews
his lip. The message doesn't sound dramatic, but...
He wakes Kame with a light shoulder shake and, "Kame."
Kame has a creepy frozen way of waking up. "Yes?"
"Nothing bad," Jin says. "But I thought you might want
to see right away."
Kame takes the phone from him without another word,
scans the mail, then the subject lines in his inbox. It doesn't take a
minute but when he puts the phone down, his movements are exact and his
eyes determined, like he's never been asleep.
"Okay?" Jin says.
"Yes." Kame glances towards the curtains. "Nothing bad.
But you were right to wake me."
Jin nods and doesn't even want to make a joke.
"What's the time?"
"Around ten." He sees Kame consider that, judge it in
terms of acceptable or not, and let it go. "Feeling better?"
"I... yes, I do." Kame stretches discreetly and nods to
himself. His shirt hardly shows that he slept in it. "What a bitch of a
And now it's over, and he came straight here. Jin looks
at his socks, not so dumb he doesn't notice; not so dumb he points it
"I need to use the bathroom."
Jin gestures. "Third door on the right."
That squint looks a bit evil, but Jin's never really
been scared of Kame anyway.
He keeps busy with his own phone, makes sure the zero
e-mails he got in the time of Kame's fifty-eleven didn't double while
he wasn't paying attention, and notices for the first time just how
thin the wall to the bathroom is.
Then flush, and the tap, and the funny wheezing sound
the pipes always make. The water turns off and the door opens five
seconds later. Kame looks at him right away, and then down, and Jin can
almost feel the thoughts beyond sleep and food.
"Guess you're awake now," he says.
"I used your toothpaste," Kame says as he takes the
amazing three steps until he's standing on the futon. Looking up, Jin
catches just a trace of mint.
"My toothbrush, too?" he says, and Kame flips two
fingers against his forehead like Jin's a Bakanishi. Jin could tackle
him from here, show him what's what, skinny little...
Kame's fingers, cold from water, skimming the edge of
his hair, and Kame's eyes aren't playful anymore.
Not so skinny. Not silly, standing there.
Like this? Jin turns his face up with
no prompt, no urging, and then he's embarrassed, and then not. Breathe,
let go. Breathe.
Kame lets his hand trail, all four fingers on Jin's
face, two catching at Jin's mouth. Long evening,
Jin thinks, and fine and I'm sitting
weirdly and... Kame takes a tiny step back, and then he sits
back down against the shelf, looking at Jin without meeting his eyes.
Yes. Fucking, after all. He's not sure why Kame stopped
But he's looking. That works too. Jin kneels up, and
Kame's gaze is on him every inch. It brings them closer and it lets him
move, lets him unbutton his shirt, one button, two. "You want it like
last time?" he asks, leaning just in Kame's space, slipping his hand
down, getting the button and zip on his jeans. Kame still hasn't moved
but he's swallowing, eyes burning into Jin, and Jin just starts to push
the fabric down when Kame lunges forward and grabs him, fabric and skin
and a hot still breath between them.
He yanks the shirt down Jin's arms, tall on his knees,
his hands sinking into Jin's hair, and then they slide down, down Jin's
back to his ass, groping and rough and the bulge in Kame's pants
presses against him while Kame gets the shirt off like he needs
to. They sway, Jin holding on, keeping his balance, and maybe they
should just let go, fall, take it from there.
Then Kame stops.
Kame's hands are gone, and Kame sits on his heels, away,
much too far away.
"What?" Jin asks, feeling as stupid as before.
"I just… this," Kame says. Very coherent. Kame's noticed
too, he's focusing. "You were very kind to me," he says carefully. "I
appreciate that. I'll give you the money anyway. For food and for
sleeping. You won't have to..."
"No," Jin says, "wait." Because he's not following and
nothing should happen here until he's figured out… how to be clear.
Kame looks at him with a frown, but he waits. He looks
like he's got far too many thoughts in his head.
Okay. "I want you to fuck me," Jin says. There; clear.
How good he got his head sorted out in time. "I want it."
Kame blinks once, and then his face goes bland with
caution. "I don't want to make you."
"You're not," Jin says. "And you didn't whammy me with
your handjobs either. I want it. I like it." It's that quiver again,
embarrassment lurking, and then it just goes away. "So can we get to
Seems like not. Kame just stares at him.
Because the idea of someone wanting to have sex with him
is so inconceivable. Or because Jin was totally fighting him off last
time too, or something. "Well?"
After a mini-eternity Kame says, "Okay. Sorry." Jin
decides that'll have to do. Less talking, more doing. He gets his pants
off, doesn't even care about the ungraceful picture he makes. Kame
takes it all in, but he's not moving, sitting there while Jin is naked
on the bed.
It should feel awful, but he knows too much. "You
staying dressed?" he asks, rhetorical, but he finds he wouldn't care
That gets him a smile. A genuine one. "No," Kame says,
and gets to work on his shirt. "I don't think so."
Kame makes quick work of his clothes, doesn't even fold
them. Then he's next to Jin, with a deep breath.
It sizzles when Kame's hand touches him. A light brush
on his shoulder, Kame's eyes following, electric. Jin holds still.
Spirit of the thing, he said Kame could.
He lets Kame map him, the first time he waits for the
appreciation, memories of darker, more urgent looks teasing him. He
knows how much Kame wants him, and he'll feel it, and he can just let
It's so different when he knows.
Kame leans close, and just that, everything aside,
warmth and another person, is wonderful. Kame nuzzles his neck and it
makes him shiver, this floating thing between them, and Kame's hands
skimming lower and lighter.
Kame's not saying anything. It's all quiet. And Kame
guides him down, an arm across his chest and an erection against his
hip, and he's smiling and thinking and petting Jin and...
Suddenly Jin feels like he's in a bad, coy television
drama. "What are you doing?"
Kame's hand stops. "Sorry, I…" He doesn't look like he's
completely sure himself. "You said you wanted to."
Kame nods slowly, catching up with them. "And we can…"
And his smile returns, mild, respectful, and Jin's still not stupid. He
could always tell when Kame is putting on a show.
"I like it the way you like it."
Kame blinks at him, that bland concentration again. From
the quiet it goes to a pulse in the air.
When Kame touches him next, he's closer, and the way he
slides his fingers into Jin's hair is focused, watchful. He pulls,
testing, soft twist in Jin's neck. "The way I like it."
Jin closes his eyes, that floating shiver coming back.
"Yes." Just say it. He's had a week to know for himself.
Kame's hand goes tighter, like he means it, and Jin's
balance is shot, a strain in his back. "You mean like this."
"Yes." He jumps when Kame's mouth is on his neck, hot
with tongue and a scrape of teeth. "I don't want to think," he
whispers. "It feels good. When I don't." When everything's gone except
this, and nothing is complicated. And he doesn't see anymore why he
shouldn't have it.
"Okay." Kame sounds like he's getting it. Jin blinks his
eyes open and there's just a glimpse of Kame, his lips parted and his
eyes hot, before strong hands push Jin down and turn him over, and oh
yes. Kame's got it.
"I can do that," Kame says, and he pulls Jin's hips
back, up, and Jin gets his knees under him and just waits, like that.
"That works for me."
Jin's breath catches. But he doesn't have to say
anything. Kame strokes his skin, not quite soothing. Squeezes a little,
light pull where he spreads Jin more. Jin can imagine him looking.
Looking as he runs a thumb down the crack, and it should be so
embarrassing. Jin just lets it flutter through him.
"That works really well for me," Kame says quietly.
Jin makes a sound, and it doesn't embarrass him either.
When the thumb slips inside he can't help pushing back, whimpering, and
"You like it." He pulls out again but keeps it there,
rubbing in place. It's wonderful and maddening. "You want more."
Jin bites his lip. He's said as much, hasn't he? Was
pretty damn clear.
The movement halts, Kame right there, just holding him.
"You said you didn't want to think," Kame says. "So don't."
When Jin breathes out, his head feels light, and his
limbs heavy sinking into the futon. "I want more."
"So spread your legs. Let me see you."
Jin does that too.
So Kame sees him, and it goes everywhere, tingles from
the tips of his fingers through the sweat on his back, a pull in his
Kame is gone for a moment, but even that… he'll be back.
He's in charge. Jin won't think. Then Kame's thumbs come back sticky,
rubbing there, pushing in a little more. And gone.
"Sometimes I like it rough," Kame says. It hangs in the
air, certain as it is, and they've done that, they've done that when he
was scared and now he's just here.
"I know," Jin says, letting the high thrill of it run
through him and take every last tension with it.
There's a careful breath behind him, and next Kame's
hand is tight on his hip, and there's the pressure, and the deep thick
slide, the sudden fullness and the panic. The other hand coming to
match, pulling him close.
He's held there, gasping, trembling. It's so good.
Good when Kame pulls out before Jin's even settled, good
on the deep thrust back in. When it gets faster, harder, when there's
nothing but the next move.
He's been waiting for this all week.
"You are greedy." Kame's voice is
strained, but he sounds approving. "Might take a while to get you all
They've got a steady rhythm now, Jin could go with it
forever. Take a while. Take however long.
"Give me your hand," Kame says, and Jin's not sure… what
he means, but lifts his arm backward and Kame takes it, pulls it up and
onto his back. "The other one."
Jin shudders, but he gets his hand there. Gives it up.
Kame takes his crossed wrists like it's his right and it
aches, and if Jin wanted, a pull would free him, but he doesn't want,
god he doesn't want.
The pumping inside him, the grip around his wrists
pulling him sharp against it. Kame in charge, fucking him hard. Liking
"You'll take everything and still want more, is that
right?" Kame says, and he's gasping now too, and Jin moans, yes, just
like that. "Say it. You want to say it."
"Yes." His face is squashed against the sheets, his
shoulders pulled back by Kame's grip, he's helpless, moving as Kame
wants, parted knees the only point of balance, and Kame's hand. Kame
tells him he wants it and he deserves it and Jin doesn't squirm away,
says "yes," plain clean truth spilling out to the world, "I want it,"
says, "Kame." Weight and heat, more with each thrust. First time. Kame.
"That's new," Kame says, skims and feels, wobbling pace
but oh, god, right there. "You want that, too?"
Almost a challenge, but challenges are some other time, are not now.
"Yes," he says, "I want," muffled and hot, "I want to
come when you fuck me," and it's never been this clear, and he'll tell
Kame anything and not fucking care.
Kame, with a desperate noise of his own, stroking him
and fucking him, hot like burning back and front and there's no air,
Kame plunging in deep and jerking him hard, Jin's going to have a heart
He's whimpering with every slam, every new twist of
Kame's hand. Can't move, just hangs in there, and Kame keeps him pinned
and takes him high until he forgets where he is and why and doesn't
know the sounds he's making any more.
He crumples, raw and still falling to pieces when Kame
speeds up, goes just for himself, and forever Jin can't breathe and
think and stop and thank you, thank you.
"Fuck," Kame says, fingers digging hard into Jin's skin.
Holding on as they still, everything slowing, sweaty, hot with Kame's
Then he lets Jin fall forward, guides him down. Drops
down beside him and still there's the touch, warm, dirty, his ass and
Kame's hand is at the small of his back. "You are one
"Wasn't that always my image," Jin mumbles. He closes
his eyes and thinks there must be steam coming off him. He wouldn't
move if a volcano was coming for him.
"I like it when you're good and don't talk back."
He turns his head just a bit and blinks at Kame through
sweaty strands of hair. "Yeah, don't get used to it."
Kame snorts, and god, he's thirty-fucking-seven and a jerk
and tired around the eyes, and he's glowing.
"Don't move," he says again, and then he's gone.
Bathroom sounds, water, then Kame is back with the
washcloth and Jin closes his eyes again when Kame wipes him down.
"I clean up my messes," Kame says. Jin just spreads his
legs a little wider.
The cloth is warm and Kame is thorough, and at the end
his fingers tickle on the back of Jin's thighs, a curious lingering.
"Turn over," Kame says then. There's not much that's not
gone on the sheets but Kame wipes off Jin's come too, and then he
flops, not so much the boss now, on his ass next to Jin and leans back
on his arms.
Jin rolls on his side and props up his head. Thinks.
Kame is looking at him too, and apparently nap time
cancels out orgasm fatigue.
"Get me a beer," Jin says.
Kame's eyebrows rise ever so slightly.
"I want it."
Kame sighs. But he gets up and goes, good man. "You want
lots of things all of a sudden."
Yes. Jin's got catching up to do, from wanting nothing
but peace and quiet and for his landlord to go away.
The beer is the best beer ever. Kame goes back to his
spot against the shelf, and Jin gets a few minutes of really
appreciating how sweaty Kame gets when he's fucking Jin's brains out.
Then he needs the bathroom, and oh, boy, his legs are as lazy as the
rest of him.
Kame watches him come back, every step. They spend
another minute or so in silence. Yeah, Kame doesn't have to be
anywhere. No rush.
After a while, Kame asks, "So what brought this on?"
Wanting it. Needing it. Of course Kame would wonder. He
didn't even get the cigarette or three to get over it. "Obviously, you
have a magic cock and it cured me of my heterosexual ways."
Kame actually flushes. "I was just
curious," he says, but he's looking a bit tense for curious.
"Sorry," Jin relents. "I told you, it feels good." He's
not drunk and not horny. Just fine. Even with the rest of it. "I don't
think when you do it. It drowns out all the bullshit."
Kame is staring again. Thinking time. That's fine, Jin
had a head start.
"I hate people telling me what to do," Jin says, and
there's still the buzz, the freedom of not caring. "I've hated it so
much. All the rules and the people who try to keep me in line." All
those years, all those voices... it's all shut up and out of here now.
"But I don't mind when you do it. I don't mind it like this. It's..."
He looks to Kame, for the words to get it right.
Kame blinks, and there's understanding there.
"Everything's very clear," he says quietly.
"Come here," Kame says suddenly, his voice like a tug
somewhere deep in Jin's belly.
Jin hesitates, but then thinks what the hell, and shifts
up until he's hovering in front of Kame.
Kame tucks the hair behind his ears; closes Jin's eyes
with a brush of his hand. It tingles, like leftover glitter stirring
back into the air.
Then Kame's hands come around his neck, subtle pressure.
Jin holds still.
"I should put a collar on you," Kame says calmly. "My
mark on you. Remind you when I'm gone."
Jin swallows against Kame's palm. He thinks he's getting
hard again, and that's... surprising.
And Kame releases him. When Jin opens his eyes, he's
studying him, studying like you study dinner. "Interesting," Kame says.
Funny how he had his hands around Jin's neck but he's the one sounding
a little hoarse.
Jin raises his chin. "Want to make something of it?" he
asks, and drops his hand into Kame's crotch. "How much reminding you
been doing yourself?"
Kame tenses back towards the shelf. "Thinking highly of
yourself, are you."
If he is, he isn't wrong. That's Kame's cock, half-hard
under his hand.
Kame looks strangely caught. Drawn up, watching Jin like
Jin can do things to him.
Maybe Jin could. But maybe he doesn't need to make the
point right now.
"You want more booze?" Jin says, sitting back on his
heels. "We can use tea cups for the sake."
"I didn't plan on getting drunk,"
Kame points out, but his shoulders come down from yellow alert.
Jin gets up and fetches the cups from the kitchen
cupboard. "Just half full, then." He's not intending to get drunk,
either. "But you did come by cab, might as well make the most of it."
For a moment Kame looks like drunk driving is the least
of his worries, like he's thinking about having to keep other people in
line while buzzed on Jin's sake. But then he relaxes, nods. "Just a
"By the way, I saw Nino on TV with your little song,"
Jin says when he's sat down again. "And your little delinquent. Very
There's a twitch of a smile on Kame's face. "Hot cakes,"
he says. "It'll give us a great quarter."
The sake is sharp at first. Been so long since Jin had
any. But it feels good, another little glow. "So you never get to
drink?" he asks. "Because you always have to be careful?"
"Oh, I drink," Kame says, making a face. "What do you
think happens when I meet people from the industry?"
Yeah, okay. Stupid question.
Kame still drinks almost as slowly as Jin. Two naked
guys on a futon with tea cups. Cozy.
"Meant to ask," Jin remembers, "what about Ueda? What
little scandals did you have to rescue him from?"
Kame must have rescued him, since he's still in the band. In the
So he's surprised when Kame says, "None." Even more
surprised that Kame doesn't look happy about it.
"Okay?" he says.
"He's had no scandal. He's very careful." Kame lowers
his drink like the question reminded him he should be careful too, and
damn, that's not what Jin wanted. "You could say he's staying out of
all the politics," Kame says. "You could also say that nobody can
figure out which side he's on."
Oh, Jin thinks. Oh, that must suck. "And you have to
work with him."
"He doesn't make it difficult," Kame says with a low
shrug. "He just... he does the job, and keeps himself to himself. I
know he works out at a tiny private gym, and he's taking karate
lessons, but even that I only know because I've had somebody check him
"You're spying on KAT-TUN?"
Kame gives a little laugh. "Just Ueda, because I need to
know what's what, if he's meeting with Julie. I've been wondering
recently if I should just have the others tailed too, though. Just so I
have warning when they get into any dumb shit."
He's got to be relieved, Jin suddenly thinks, that Jin
is gone and he doesn't have to worry about Jin's talent for fuck-ups,
He says so, and Kame gives him a long, weird look.
"I'm sure we could work out a way for me to keep you in
line," he finally says with a little smile.
Jin raises his cup in a sloppy toast, then notices it's
"More?" he says.
But Kame shakes his head. "I should get going. If I take
an early night, I should get a good night's sleep too. I've got stuff
Even sleeping's a duty, with Kame.
They get up, get dressed. Jin throws on his sweatpants
and watches Kame button his shirt, adjust his jacket like he could
still be photographed in the cab.
"I don't know about next week yet," Kame says. "I'll
call ahead when I know."
"I'm here," Jin says. "You know when I work."
"I do," Kame says. Then he goes a little stiff, before
he fishes for his wallet. "Of course," he says, looking uncertain as
his fingers skim the bills. "I don't quite know now..." At last he
stops fiddling. "How much do I owe you?"
Very correct, very Kame, and you have to wonder where he
was when they were snipping off the price tags. Of course, people still
have to pay their rent. "Give me that wallet."
Kame hands it over without hesitation.
Jin clears out all the notes, a nice fat bundle. He
notes the credit cards and sticks a thousand back in before he returns
it, because he's not cruel, just poor. "There, you can buy yourself a
coffee tomorrow morning," he says. "It's on me."
Kame blinks, and just for a moment Jin worries if he
went too far. But, no, Kame's only a little slow,
and Jin grabs him by the jacket and kisses him square on the mouth.
Sake and surprise, tension and yeah, about time.
"I'd say don't spend it all on one place," Jin says,
"but I know how you like to splurge."
Kame smashes into him, spins them and shoves him right
into the door, kisses him back hard with teeth as if they've both
forgotten how to do this.
Jin's squirming for more anyway, they can get
better, and he doesn't mind the sting, or the bruises he'll have from
Kame moving him around.
"I should fuck you right against the door for that,"
Jin laughs low in his throat. "What's stopping you?" Jin
"I have to get ready to earn more money. I have this
expensive slut to keep."
"You haven't even called your cab yet," Jin points out
and doesn't remove his own hands from anywhere, because the cab could
take, like, five minutes.
Kame gives him a look, then gets out his phone and
orders a cab to a couple of streets away without ever taking his eyes
off all the places Jin isn't wearing clothes.
He slips the phone back in his pocket and grips Jin's
wrist and pins it against the door; sticks his tongue in Jin's mouth
and tells Jin with his hand in Jin's sweatpants just how desperate Jin
must be, and when he really has to go, he's right about that.
on Livejournal ~ Comment
AO3 ~ Write
Return to 9½ Weeks Index
~ Return to Fic Index