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Okyakusama wa Kamesama
by Solo & Jo
It's darker back here. The lights are just bright enough to let people work, and the balcony casts a shadow. If he sinks low in the seat, he'll be barely visible.
They're almost finished, just a safety check on the lasers left. He's not needed for that and by now the guys know he likes to sit here and soak in the room, the view, the distance.
Wallow in stage fright, someone said once. But Jin finds it helps sometimes.
He peers over his knees at the stage, across the long rows of seats.
It feels huge.
He knows, rationally, that it's not. Logically, it was the next step. Financially, it made sense. Truthfully, he was proud.
It's fucking huge.
"Five minutes, guys!" someone says and it dissolves in the noise, the rustle of stiff costumes and the high voices of the younger juniors, the running around with mic stands and cables and hair spray cans. Jin's lost track of who's shouting what orders but he knows he's dressed and he peed and in an emergency someone will grab him and shove him towards the stage, and right now he's too busy breathing to track a clock.
Oh god he's so nervous. And excited, and this is crazy, and it's going to be fucking awesome. He looks around either for Kame or a bottle of water for his dry mouth and he finds Kame first, who is all finished with his hair and his props and is looking at him with huge eyes, and just possibly like he's gonna barf.
"It'll be okay," Jin says. Weirdly, it calms him down. "It'll be great."
"Just don't forget your lyrics," Kame says, cause that's what he always says, but underneath it he sounds grateful.
"Just don't kick yourself in the head with your dancing," Jin replies, cause that's what he always replies, it's like their good-luck charm. This time he adds, "And don't trip over the clock."
Kame flushes. There was a rehearsal incident and Jin's not going to let him forget it anytime soon. If only to remind Kame that the world doesn't end when you make a mistake.
They just stare at each other. Two minutes, their first concert that's just for them. Thousands and thousands of people asked for this. It’s so crazy. They both know it's crazy, and somehow the more Kame looks like he's about to hyperventilate, the surer Jin feels.
"Come on," he grins, knowing they're ready to take over the world.
Jin's knee is bouncing, feet twitching, body memory from the dance rehearsal. He considers the stage, measuring where he'll be over on the left. He'll be small, from back here.
But he's got more screens now. It'll be fine.
He tips his head back and watches the laser beams pass over him. Sticks his hand up but can't reach; of course.
It gets lighter around, then dark again, and a moment later he realizes that was the door behind him. When he turns, Kame is already there, settling in the seat on his left.
Just like that.
It's not stage fright, this ripple of emotions. Jin's feeling warm and wobbly at the same time, thrown by his own setup. "You came."
"You invited me, didn't you?" Kame asks. He's dressed in black slacks and a silvery grey shirt, all sleek and stylish. But Jin can see his nervousness, too.
"I wasn't sure you would," he says softly.
"And pass up a chance to sneak around this place on the sly?" It's pretty lame as quips go, and Kame's twitchy smile says that he knows.
Jin can't come up with a good reply. "I'll show you around when the light show stops," he says. "Just wait with me for a bit?"
"Sure," Kame says. The lights above them bob up and down, and Kame's gaze travels around in the gloom. It probably doesn't feel that huge to him. "Bit late to be working?"
"There was a concert here tonight so we only started after eleven. Much cheaper that way."
"Ah," Kame says. He's still sitting in his chair like a proper concert goer, not like Jin who has his feet pulled up and still feels his knees twitching.
"Are you in a rush?" he asks belatedly, when he realizes this might be more of a drop-in than he thought and now he's wasting it in the back of the hall.
"No." Kame shakes his head. "I just finished work, too." There's a silver hoop gleaming in his ear, and his hair is different from when Jin saw him last, a sharp sort of look.
The constant changes are part of their lifestyle, their jobs, Jin knows. But something about this look goes deeper. Maturity, maybe. A new brand of confidence.
"Great," Jin says. "I can show you around then." He feels himself grinning suddenly, he's not sure why. "I'm going to show you my borg box."
Kame gives him an intrigued look. "Borg box."
"Yeah, it's for my futuristic theme. You'll see."
"Didn't you have that in your last tour, too?"
"In the last one you saw," Jin says. "You know I like it. It's a different story though, I think it fits." Finally the lasers fall dark. "Come on, let me show you."
He leads the way down the aisle. Some of his guys note Kame's presence but Jin knows nobody is going to say anything. Not even Josh, who's giving Jin a look which Jin ignores.
Kame hangs back while Jin tells people the official rehearsal is over and sends all but two technical staff home. Even Josh.
The stage stays lit, and his music is playing gently in the background. They get up there, and Jin watches Kame look around, look out at the seats. "We did our first show here last year," Kame says quietly. "After Koki was gone."
Ow, Jin thinks. "I'm sorry," he says.
Kame nods; Kame knows how he means it. "We figured we'd play smaller venues. Get closer to the audience, but also... we really weren't sure we could fill the larger places." His eyes flicker towards Jin as if he's uncertain what side Jin's going to be on. " The Domes."
It feels weird; Jin's big step up and KAT-TUN's step down, tied to the same place.
"You did this year, though," he says.
"Yeah. We did." Kame studies the markings on the floor as if he's trying to figure out the hidden instructions for himself. "But that was two concerts for the entire year. People came from all over."
There's nothing Jin can say to that.
"It's just bigger," Kame says, in a voice so rough you'd think the concert was already over. He looks at Jin and Jin looks back, and they burst into giggles.
Yeah. Just bigger. That's Tokyo Dome.
"I mean, really." Kame is still laughing, looking restless and a bit nuts. "We've done some pretty big things before."
That's true. And also not. Debut concerts in the Dome. Even with everything that's gone wrong, Jin grins at Kame and knows Kame feels just as stubbornly proud as he does.
Then suddenly the laughter goes as quickly as it came and Kame is focusing, and Jin is back to his stomach having some sort of party he's not invited to. It's the normal craziness before a concert, mood swings and nerves.
The part that sucks.
Jin bites his lip and tries not to fuck up his hair with his nervous fingers.
It's like there's supposed to be a switch, where he takes this seasick feeling and the looming darkness of everything that could go wrong and turns it into energy, fight, excitement. And he can never find that anymore. He doesn't even know what he's afraid of.
It's not like he ever steps out and people literally hate him.
He casts a look at Kame, who locks all of this up and thinks people can't tell. Jin stands a little closer, and when he brushes Kame's arm Kame clasps at his hand, clammy and cool. It helps, and he's not even sure whom.
"Come on, let me show you my stuff," Jin says
Kame will have noticed the moving stair set, but it won't mean much in this light. The cube is parked at the back of the stage. Jin gestures at Miki-san behind the lighting controls and points to it, and suddenly it flickers to life.
Kame blinks. Jin watches his face and the obvious puzzlement and grins.
"I'm in that at the start of the show," he says, and waves Kame closer. He slips his hand into one of the wire-and-metal sheaths and wiggles his fingers. "You will be assimilated."
Kame looks at him doubtfully. "Is that dirty?"
"That's when you get turned into a robot, too."
Kame's prods the tips of the glove-fingers lightly. "Could be fun. You keep saying robots are cool."
Oh, that guy. "Yeah, but, it's not like that," Jin says. "You'd lose all your sparkling personality."
Kame looks like he's not sure what the correct response is, which makes him seem younger and slightly nervous, and Jin suddenly doesn't like the thought of Kame as a borg at all. "And I'd miss you. So, you get to live. Now go round he front and have a look." He slips inside the box, puts the helmet on his head and stands up. "Well?"
"Creepy," Kame says, eyes going wide. "Like a creepy dismembered thing that refuses to die."
Perfect. "Isn't it cool!"
The answer is written all over Kame's impressed face, and Jin feels quite smug about it. But then Kame says, "I hope you aren't showing this to Theia. She'll have nightmares."
Jin pulls the helmet off again. "You underestimate our sweet angel. When she and Meisa came before the first show, she was trying to pull off the tentacles." It still makes him grin goofily when he remembers. His kid, alien hunter.
He hangs the helmet up safely, and runs his hands over his head. "This thing gives hat hair worse than any hat. Static or something."
Kame laughs. "So you start the next number with exploded hair?"
"No, I get it wet, that helps," Jin says.
"Hmm, I'm sure it helps." Kame cocks his head, assessing an image. Jin moves slowly, lets him. "I'm sure it helps the fans too."
Jin climbs out of the Borg box; practiced and easy by now. "You know... " He takes a step towards Kame, lets his gaze sweep the empty seats, and then holds Kame's eyes. "I think it does."
Kame looks amused, but also intrigued. "You're playing it up?"
Jin runs his hand through his hair again, which still isn't wet, but he thinks the thought counts. "You don't think I should?"
"No, it makes sense," Kame says. He's totally watching Jin's hair fall back into place. "A perfectly sensible business decision."
"That's me," Jin says, a little pleased with himself and with Kame's approval.
Kame's eyes are still lingering. Then he looks back out at the imaginary audience, and sticks his hands in his pockets. "I remember a time we could hardly get you to shave," he says. "Much less do fanservice."
There's no sting in it any more, and Jin shrugs. "It's different now," he says. "It helps I can decide for myself."
Kame nods like he gets it, though Jin is pretty sure Kame never feels like that.
"And I only ever did the fanservice with you anyway," Jin says. "Well, mostly." He meant to be joking, but then it hangs there, memories of fun but complicated things. Things that got too complicated.
"Yeah, mostly," Kame smiles, saying it's okay.
The Dome is pounding around him, bass drumming straight to his heart. It's overwhelming and constricting, and his knees feel so fucking weak.
It's familiar now, dropping himself in the chair and pressing the oxygen mask to his face. Feeling eighty years old and like everyone is staring at him.
Right. Focus. Focus on getting in the fucking air, he knows it's easier when he tunes everything out. The running around and the costumes and the dissonance crawling over everything.
He hates this feeling, the jitters, the judging. But maybe this is all too big for him. Maybe something, some basic facts of life he didn't know about, are catching up with him, and here he is, gasping.
He knows those pants, there in front of his face. They're not running by. Knows that slightly restrained frown when he blinks up. He's too focused on breathing to ask Kame what the fuck he wants.
"Are you still okay to go on?" Kame asks, quiet under all the noise.
Jin nods roughly.
"Good. Well. At least you can take a break."
Jin jerks his head up and pushes the mask down. "I'm not lazy."
"Nobody said that," Kame says quietly. His bad perm looks pretty sad when he makes that kind of face. "You can't breathe and you're dancing your heart out."
"And you fucking smoke as much as I do."
"I didn't say anything about smoking."
"What are you saying?" he wants to know. Kame hasn't even done anything, he's just... there. Convenient. Jin puts the mask back down and breathes in, out; in. Out. It helps but his chest still feels like someone tied belts around it.
"I was going to say, three and a half minutes," Kame says, looking guilty and pale under the make-up. Jin rolls his eyes.
Kame pulls up a chair next to him and sits down with his heels tapping and his water bottle on hand, and seems content to watch Jin be an old man for a while. It actually kind of helps.
It's a minute before showtime that he feels okay with taking the mask down, okay with... himself again.
Kame passes him the water and smiles a little.
"Maybe I'm too weak for all this," Jin says, he's not even sure he's saying it to Kame or to the world at large.
They're not as close, as careless anymore that Kame would take his hand. It would be weird now, Kame gets weird about it. But when he looks at Jin with the frankest faith and says, "You are not too weak for this," turns out he's still the one Jin believes.
"How's Meisa?" Kame asks, letting Jin's hair and Jin's business decisions go for now. "Is she coming tomorrow night?"
Jin's surprised at the mental turn, but then again, maybe not. Kame is examining the markings on the floor again, maybe trying to find Jin's color. "Yes, we'll sneak her in," he says. "She's curious, and I'm happy she wants to see it."
"How are things going at home?" Kame asks. Polite, casual; so casual that Jin knows it's not. Kame and his mad acting skills.
And the thing is, it is casual. And Jin's a little bit amused. "What have you heard?"
"Not much," Kame says with the hurried reassurance of someone who's been Fridayed a time or two himself. "At all, really. Pi mentioned you were having some issues. But that was a while ago." He looks vaguely guilty. "It wasn't, you know. It wasn't gossip."
Yeah. The friendship information circuit goes both ways. "It's cool," Jin smiles. "And, yeah. It got rocky for a while and... " How does he put it?
"And now everything's okay?" Kame says tentatively, with the look of a hopeful, supportive friend.
"And now we're parents raising a child and not getting divorced because the media would eat me alive, and because it's easier, and because we actually work well as friends." Apparently he puts it like this.
"Oh," is how Kame puts it.
"And everything's okay," Jin adds. It's kind of fun surprising Kame by having the more unusual relationship arrangement.
Kame's trying not to show it too much. Has that thoughtful adult face on. "That's good," he says. "I mean, I'm glad you're working it out. You've worked something out. That works."
Yeah, something that works. Something that works better than Kame's processing skills. Jin bites back a smile. "How about you," he says.
Kame shrugs, laughs a little. "Oh, you know. Work, work, work." He seems to catch the accidental pun and squirms awkwardly. "I'm pretty busy."
Nobody, then. Together and free, Jin thinks, a bit giddily, like they're only nineteen. He knows there have been... guys, over the years, never long. He can't remember when he last knew of anyone... but of course they're not in touch all the time.
"Let me show you my stairs," he says, and Kame gives him a quizzical look.
"You mean those stairs right there?"
"Come up with me?" Jin says. They aren't all that high, but things feel different up there, more apart and more seen at once.
Kame studies the steps as they walk up together. "You're dancing on this too?"
"Yeah." Jin grins. "In a straitjacket."
Kame looks at him like he's expecting a punchline. When none comes, he shakes his head. "Your art... "
Jin smiles again, not bothering to contradict him. He's proud, and while Kame is still examining the stairs, possibly for a risk assessment, he picks up Slow playing in the background, falls into the moves. Adds something else for examination.
Kame has noticed; he stills and watches a few bars with complete focus until Jin slows to a halt again.
"Different song, but," he says, his face a little warm. "You get the picture."
Kame smiles. "Are you sure you'll manage not to fall off this thing?"
Jin holds his eyes, smiles back. "Why? Are you worried?"
"I always worry when there's a chance you could fall on your face," Kame says. The words are flippant, but the tone is warm, and raw with layers. They look at each other in the stage light, the hall empty around them and yet so full of... everything.
"Was this convenient," Kame asks, without needing to point at the seats or the balcony or any of it, "or is it meaningful?"
Meaningful... Jin looks at the corners of the stage. A lot from back then is blurry in his head, but he still remembers where they came out, that first time. Remembers Kame's face after. "The size is convenient," he says. "Next step up, and all. Everything else... "
Kame is still watching him attentively. Somehow Jin likes that Kame wants to know.
"I wanted it," he says, on a deep breath. "There's not much of a profit margin here, it costs like ten times as much as the other halls. I went back and forth on it for a while, but... I wanted it."
Kame nods softly, that smile still on his face. "Good."
"Profit margins, huh?"
"Hey, I worry about falling on my face too."
Kame's gaze sweeps the hall again. "Do you know if you're going to fill it?" he asks, sounding curious and a little concerned.
Jin smiles at him. "Sold out on the first ballot."
And there's that carefree Kame grin, the one that says they're invincible if they just work hard enough. "Yokohama arena next, then."
It sounds half-serious. Ambition's always right with Kame. "Space pirates."
Kame nods, and maybe he's re-imagining their pirate ship just like Jin is. Riding the waves together.
"With laser guns," Jin adds. "You can't go wrong with lasers."
Another nod, though Kame was always one for the traditional stuff. Like Jin came from the future and Kame from the past, and they met in the middle, in a band.
Kame isn't getting dressed. The Dome is filling already, waiting, thrumming, but Kame isn't even touching his costume. He's holding a piece of the kimono, staring down at it.
Jin sidles up to him. "What's up? Moths?"
It's a sign how highly strung he is that Kame jumps. Then he shakes his head. "I'm just," he starts, and stops. Stares unseeing out at where the audience is. Time's ticking, pressure's building, Jin can feel it.
It makes it harder to think, but he puts a hand on Kame's shoulder, gives him one gentle shake. "What."
"Maybe this wasn't a good idea."
"You don't think it's too much?"
"It's a bit late now to mess around with the choreography," Jin says, pointing out the practical first. He wants to take it back when Kame's face shuts down.
"No, you idiot, it's not too much," he says. "It's fucking awesome. They're going to love it. It's Honnou-ji!" Jin loves it; in fact he sort of really wishes he could see it from the audience, not just the sidelines.
"That's kind of what I mean," Kame says. "Maybe I shouldn't have... it's not too out there?"
Out there. Out. Jin's brain can read Kameramble.
He thinks a bit about whether to say it out loud. Nobody's ever said anything out loud even in the planning sessions, even just between the two of them. "You mean... the gay thing."
Kame presses his lips together. So, yes.
"Okay," Jin says, "but... " Kame has the jitters. That's normal before game time but now Kame has the jitters about his gay samurai song and Jin really didn't expect Kame to throw a wobbly like that anymore, now. "It's a performance, though," he says carefully. "It's not actually about you, or at least not... explicitly. Plus who'll even know the history?"
Kame looks like he can't really believe that.
"And hey, it's fan service." There, that's always true. And Kame never minds, Kame doesn't mind with anybody, so he shouldn't mind if it's fan service with historical dead guys, and...
Even in his state, Kame gives him a look, a look that says he knows all about Jin and fan service, or the lack of it, and that Jin really shouldn't talk, maybe.
"Nobody's going to take it as some sort of statement," he tries.
He worries at the flash of contempt, doesn't know if it's for him and the world at large or Kame being unhappy with himself, but then Kame's face clouds over with stubbornness. "Well, maybe they should."
No, okay, this works, this is good. Jin knows how to take this because he knows this dude. "Then maybe you should make them. And teach them some fucking history as you go."
It seems to rattle around Kame's freaked-out brain like an irritating chord vibe. Then his chin comes up. "I guess I will." Challenge accepted.
"Yeah." Fucking right, too. Kame has guts like Jin's never seen, and even from the sidelines, even at a distance it's… right. Burning. "Now get your fucking costume on, we have three minutes."
It takes Kame less than half a minute to get into the same white and black costume as the rest of them. A few seconds for the hair, and there's the light telling them they're about to be on.
Jin shoots Kame a glance, and Kame nods. It's good.
They push their sunglasses on and step out on the stage.
He sits on the edge of the top platform and pats for Kame to sit next to him.
Kame does, and it strikes Jin again how much more adult the shorter hair makes him look, and how the black and shimmery-grey outfit is both hot and assertive. The flavor of stylish Kame likes when he wants to dress up.
"Why did you invite me?"
There's the question, the obvious one. Jin lets his gaze rest on Kame for long enough that Kame's eyebrows draw together, as he thinks about how best to put this. Where to start.
"I just wanted you to see it," Jin says. Gestures. "All this."
"To show off?" Kame teases.
Jin looks down between them, his high sneakers next to Kame's elegant black leather shoes. "I think I wanted to show you what it was all for," he says cautiously. "Like, show you. When I've really got something to show now."
"I've always known what it was for," Kame says after a pause. It's not pissy but Kame is frowning a little, like Jin did something dumb.
"Yeah, but... " It's been the strangest feeling, ever since he booked this place. "I think I'd like... I mean, we're here."
Kame is smirking suddenly. "You want my blessing, Akanishi?"
Jin wants to hit him, or hug him, or both. A light feeling in his gut says both would be okay.
He shrugs. "Maybe?" Squints at Kame. "You used to think I was so cool."
"And you are not at all full of yourself."
"Excuse me, I happen to know for a fact that I am extremely cool," Jin says, and pretends to be peering over shades he's not wearing.
Kame laughs. "And also extremely modest. I'm so glad some things don't change." He studies the steps again, the outlines of dance moves. "But you are," he says. "This is. Cool, I mean. You've come a long way from when you started out."
Jin feels himself blush. There's a little happy glow inside him. It's not like he needs Kame's approval, or was really fishing that much but... it feels good, so what.
"Thanks," he says. "I'm glad."
"Dumbass," Kame says, and they grin at each other. Then Kame nods towards the stage. "So. Show me some more stuff so I can admire how cool you are."
Jin's heart beats, one beat, like sudden stage fright. Which means he's a real idiot, cause Kame has seen him do all sorts of weird shit, fail at all sorts of weird shit, and here he knows his stuff and there's no one else around.
He puts on a smug smile. "Right, so what do you want first? Cool outfits or cool dances?"
Kame makes a great show of deliberating. "How about cool outfits with cool dances?"
Jin nods sagely. "You are such a pro," he admires Kame right back, and then nods. "Be right back."
He leaves Kame on the stairs and heads backstage, where he thinks of an even cooler idea to do with cool drinks, and after a moment of making up his mind and fondling the grey poncho he decides on the suit costume instead.
He finds the two guys who stayed behind for stage direction, talks to Ichihara-san briefly and with a cool voice and then trips over his feet trying to get into the suit, god dammit. Here's why he hates changing in a hurry.
His skin is tingling as he walks back out, his head buzzing at that frequency that can drown out lyrics and choreographies, even though there's nobody but Kame. Kame, who looks ready to joke about Jin's coolness some more but whose eyes catch on the white shirt and the jacket straps.
Kame watches him as he climbs back up the set stairs, and Jin has to focus on balancing the two full tumblers because it feels like the huge hall is full of people and tension, even though it's still just Kame.
Kame has rolled up his sleeves by now and has his hands in his pockets, and it actually makes him look more stylish, more totally at home in this place.
"Brought you cool goods too," Jin says when he's back in front of him. It's raspy and he clears his throat.
"Nice outfit," Kame says. "It's clever."
Kame gives it another long glance, and Jin doesn't fidget; knows this was his point, and not to fidget.
"Goods?" Kame asks then.
"Here you go." He hands Kame a tumbler and then has a deep drink from his own. "Have a drink while you watch."
Kame is intrigued by the tumbler, turns it a little; is clearly interested, and Jin finds watching Kame appreciating his stuff actually does make him less nervous. Kame has a sip from the yellow straw and— stops. He blinks up. "Jin, I came by car."
Oh shit. "Shit, I'm sorry, that... I wasn't thinking." Jin holds out his hand. "Give, I'll make you a new one, I just always put—"
Kame is grinning. "You always put tequila in your drinks on stage?"
"Vodka," Jin says, and then he's blushing again. "They made me do MCs, two years ago."
Kame laughs. "That explains a lot."
"And then it just stuck," Jin says. He likes it, it feels... nicely informal. He likes informal. "I mean, hey. Perk of being your own boss and all."
Kame grins. "You're the boss except when people make you do MCs?"
Isn't that a good question. Jin sighs helplessly, and tells Kame the lame truth. "Well, I'm a smart boss who occasionally hires people to make me do things I don't want to do for my own good," he admits, which seems to please Kame immensely.
Kame is looking at the straw; at the tumbler. He smiles at Jin, wide like he used to all the time. He takes another sip. "I'll pick the car up tomorrow."
"Sorry," Jin says again, though somehow now he isn't, not really, and Kame doesn't seem to mind.
"So," Kame says. He leans back like he's settling in with beer and popcorn. He's looking Jin's suit over again, top to bottom to top. Jin wishes he'd had time to style his hair. "Cool dances."
Yeah, cool dances. Jin felt much cooler fifteen minutes ago when this was in the abstract. Now he's flushed as if the stage lights were on him, full beam. "There's one, it's an old song actually but I did a deal with the old man and Warner back then so it's okay, and the dance is better than the old one, so I thought I'd—"
He's babbling. And Kame is sitting there with his head tilted, smiling.
"I'll, um." Jin puts down his drink. "Just... dance."
He calls out to Ichihara-san, "Okay, go for it!" and fumbles slightly down the stairs. For a dizzy moment, it feels like his first ever concert after leaving the agency, when he was so nervous he hurled up his lunch in the gents while Josh tried to make sure none of the staff saw.
He dances with his back to the empty hall so Kame can see what the audience would, and that feels weird too. But then the beat starts and it's fine; everything's good.
The beat sinks into him and he knows this, flows with it. Kame a dark shape high up on the left somewhere, Jin doesn't look at him, concentrates. He could still trip, crash down and break his bones and it keeps him keyed up and alert, he feels every step. You don't have to be afraid to fly. Beat and breathe. Steps in sync.
He dances it through the first chorus and then slows too a halt, his hips feeling loose with it, his heart beating high.
For a moment he breathes out, just staring ahead, before he looks up and finds Kame with dark eyes and an appreciative smile. Just like that, he settles.
He hops back up the stairs, light and smooth. "Cool?"
"Very," Kame says, not even teasing. "I'd clap, I just don't want to sound weird in here."
"I've got two guys dancing with me for that," Jin says.
Kame raises an eyebrow. "Not sexy Western girls?"
"They're Asian guys," he says, grinning. "They're pretty sexy, too, though."
"Hm." Kame nods, like that just makes sense.
"Pretty buff." It would be nice if Kame could envisage Jin with his hot buff male dancers. Jin thinks they look good together.
"Hm, good," Kame says. "Nice for the fans, too."
Right now, Jin doesn't really care about the fans. "I think you'd like them," he says, and somehow somewhere that's a breach of etiquette, a step too far, a touch too personal, but whatever, cause now Kame has an actual response.
Even if it's a confused flutter of eyelids and a quick tongue over his lips. "Uh," he says. "Maybe?" and he looks at Jin like he's trying to figure out if there was something else in Jin's vodka.
Jin gives him a wide smile. "So, I guess it's good they aren't here now, so I don't lose out in comparison."
Kame takes a breath, stops, looks like he can't believe what he's hearing, and Jin would give a lot to know why, cause he knows there are several possibilities. Whatever it is, he's thinking his answer through carefully.
"I don't think that would be a very likely problem," Kame says eventually.
Jin can roll with that one. He gives Kame's outfit a careful glance, Kame's shoulders flexing under the shiny shirt, his strong underarms where the sleeves are rolled up. "You'd fit right in with them," he says. "Being all hot and buff yourself." Okay, now his face is burning again.
There's some pink in Kame's face, too. And he's still choosing his words carefully. "What are you getting at, Jin?"
Jin's not completely sure himself, but the question alone leaves him with a buzz, like he's done a shot and liked it, and he knows he really doesn't want to stop. "Of course, you'd be wearing a lot less than I am then."
Kame casts another look at the dance marks, at Jin; still blinking like he missed a cue and doesn't know how to improvise, but then a smile breaks through. "Now there's a shock," he says, and the familiarity just makes it better.
Jin leans comfortably against the top step next to Kame and grabs his drink back, holds it up for a toast; keeps holding, and looking, until Kame gets it.
Kame's eyebrows are still a little questioning but he obediently bumps their tumblers together, and they drink more of their coke.
"I heard you'll be in a play." Jin meant to say that sooner..
"Yeah." Kame nods. "In August."
"A big, serious play with a big name serious director," Jin adds. "Congratulations." They're both taking new steps, making it bigger; Kame's projects just as impressive and ambitious as Jin wants his scary choice of venue to be. It feels good, tingles with rightness.
Kame makes a rueful face. "Big pain-in-the-ass director," he replies at last, then looks like he wishes he'd put that differently.
"Oh?" Kame tends to get on with directors, producers, everybody up the chain. He could be pretty insufferable about that, in fact. "What's wrong with him?"
Kame shrugs helplessly. "He's kind of off in his own world? Doesn't tell you what he wants and then complains you didn't do it, that sort of thing. Comes in with the micromanagement four weeks late."
Right. Jin thinks that sounds more like jerk world than his own world.
"And he keeps saying he wants me to lose weight."
"Don't!" It echoes in the hall and Jin thinks, whoops. Kame is giving him a look again. "Don't let him do that to you," Jin says more quietly. "You're just right." More than just right. "Buff. And hot." Another sip from the coke gives him another moment of courage. "I like it. Really a lot."
Kame's tongue flicks over his lips, then he grins. "Just for you, I won't."
Jin doesn't believe him for a moment. He likes the thought anyway. "So tell me more about this play."
Kame's eyes get a bit distant, like he's visualizing the stage, his role. "It is a big deal, that play. And a great challenge. The plot's set in Japan in the fifties, it's very complicated and symbolic and all." His lips press together in that way they've always done when he was intimidated and totally determined.
Jin's a little envious, but in their old, mutual way, watching Kame shine at things and wanting.
Kame and him. Past and future.
"You'll be great," Jin says.
Kame shows him a cocky smile that's ready to take on the whole world. "I fully intend to be."
Jin holds out the tumbler again. "To kicking ass"
This time Kame responds at once. "To not falling on your face."
To them. If he looks out, the hall is still big, and dark from up here but...
Kame's followed his eyes. "You'll be great, too."
"Before you came," Jin says, still staring out at the rows and rows, "during soundcheck, this place kind of got to me. Made me feel small. Lonely."
Jin turns on him with a smile. "Now you're here." And buzzed on it all, Jin feels like the two of them are filling the hall entirely. "I can take this place."
There's a slow smile of understanding, admiration. Kame's eyes are dark but shining, and he doesn't say anything. Just nods in utter certainty.
Jin holds Kame's gaze. Holds on to everything. This is perfect.
Kame blinks, another flush messing with his top-of-the-world look and it's hot and cute and Jin can't stop grinning. Kame seems to be very deliberately checking out the stage again. "So... anything else you got?"
Jin thinks yes. "You want to see more?"
Kame looks back at him, but only briefly, and his twitchy eyebrows give his nervousness away. "Yeah, I still have time," he says all casual, almost convincing.
Jin considers options for a moment; catches himself running a reel like he's his own marketing manager, and then doesn't give a fuck. "Don't go anywhere," he decides, and hops back down from the stairs to disappear backstage.
Away from the dark mystery of the stage he wants to laugh at himself, but only a little and only briefly. Because he also wants to get back out there.
He tells Ichihara-san to start the music from the top and then come see him. This is the only one of his costumes he can't put on without help, but he lays it out while he waits.
When the opening beats start, he imagines Kame's face out there, and feels a prickle of sweat at the back of his neck. He puts the mask on leisurely. Enjoys it, like suddenly he can ride the stage fright and turn it into a swirling blend of fucking awesome.
Ichihara comes and helps him into the jacket, slow and methodical. Jin's feeling sweaty anyway by the time he's done. It's not even that he's nervous.
"You can go home now," he says to Ichihara. "Thanks for staying so late. I'll deal with the rest."
And then he's alone again, just a few bars before the song changes, and climbs up high on top where it starts.
Kame doesn't turn right away. He's on floor in front of the stairs now, looking around like he's been wondering where Jin is going to appear again...
Jin moves, and in the quiet between songs Kame catches him, or catches the white in a dark hall. His wide eyes when he finds him tells Jin this was such a good idea.
But then he shuts the thoughts off and gets with the rhythm, taking it on and letting it in, weaving and stomping, head-dips-and-turns, always tracking where he is, where the steps are. His breath is bouncing hot off the mask and his hair's starting to get sweaty for real now.
He loves this dance.
Descending, he gets closer to Kame. He allows himself a look, and the way Kame's eyes are never leaving him gives him a boost, lets him sink into it for the last few moves. He owns this, feels hot sweat and burning attention right to the end, the part where his dancers would take over, and he slows, and stops.
Kame is still staring, just one step below. Not far away at all. Jin lets him stare - the mask, at his hair, at the white jacket with the criss-cross belts. His heart is hammering.
"That," Kame says, and clears his throat. "That works."
Yeah, Jin can tell. The tipsy, dizzy feeling he focused away while dancing is back, and he rolls his neck, gives Kame just that little bit longer to look. "That's good," he says. He takes another step until is right in front of Kame, then hops down to the stage, the bottom step at his back.
"Can't believe you never fell over doing that," Kame says. His voice is scratchy, and Jin can see him swallow.
"Being all tied up focuses the mind." He shifts into a wider stance. The bottom stairs are just right for leaning against. "I can't get out of this thing by myself."
Kame's eyes catch again on the belts and buckles, the mask. Jin, all tied up. "That... seems dangerous."
Jin tilts his head, can feel sweaty hair cling to his temples. "Hmm, maybe."
"It's some outfit," Kame says quietly.
Jin turns his head slowly, left; right. Kame is fascinated.
Jin gives him a moment longer, and then he gives him a straight look.
Kame's face is flushed, but he's not looking away. "Is that how you felt back then?" he asks; maybe even quieter. The music's still running but it fades behind Kame and his question, the knowledge behind it. Kame licks over his lips. "Like, the mask. Like you're caged."
He can still do it, name the things Jin hasn't yet managed to put in words for himself. Tie it all together; them, this. "Sometimes," Jin says. "But you know that."
"Yeah," Kame says. "Just." He's staring. Belts and buckles, past and future.
"You could always hear me," Jin says.
Kame's breath makes a caught sound, and he swallows again. It hits home, though. Brings on a delayed little smile.
"You can take it off me if you like," Jin says, raising his shoulders just to emphasise the jacket. "You know. I can't." He waits.
Kame waits, too, looking like he's waiting for more explanation.
"Your symbolism is breaking down," Kame says when he finally steps closer, his mouth twitching. "You can do whatever you want."
"Well, we'll see," Jin says, smiling under the mask, nodding when Kame raises his hands, uncertain.
Kame's fingers ghost over the mesh, like he's too curious not to, and Jin shivers. A few more breathless beats, before Kame tilts Jin's head a little. "So how does this go," he says while feeling around the back.
"Couple of buckl—" But Kame's already found it. Jin can smell his cologne when he leans in to undo them, sweet and spicy. Kame's breath is in his ear.
And then it's gone, Kame leaning back to take the mesh off carefully. It's a relief, the lifting, the cool air. Jin licks the sweat off his upper lip; flicks his head briefly to get some of his hair out of his face. Kame is... watching him. Steadily.
Then he reaches out, and Jin's skin starts to prickle, and it seems slow, so slow... and Kame tucks a stray strand of hair behind his ear.
Slowly; slow enough for Jin to tilt his head towards that touch, nudge it, and...
Kame isn't moving away. Isn't moving at all.
Eyes closed, he can't judge Kame's face, just lets the buzz take over and makes like a cat, his temple against Kame's hand. "Hmmm... "
From Kame there's sudden stillness; a brief twitch in his fingers...
Jin turns his head more, a stretch, feels Kame's fingertips, just a little cold against his cheek.
He hears Kame exhale. When Jin looks, he sees Kame sway towards him, then freeze, and all the air around them turns electric. Another nervous lick over his lips. Kame's eyes are dark and fast, searching, and Jin isn't sure he's breathing.
"You're not reading me wrong," he says; lets it stand there. Sink in.
Kame inhales deeply, carefully. He's keeping his hand right where it is. "No?" It sounds thin with question marks.
Jin holds his eyes and doesn't hide a thing, doesn't even pose. "No."
Kame blinks. Still thinking, checking. "Why?"
Why. Then and now, here and them. Jin wants, and it's time. Past time.
"I want." His voice wobbles on it, for all that he's sure. He hasn't felt so naked in years.
Kame shudders when he breathes out, and his hand sinks with it, but then it's back, and turns to... touch. Deliberate. Kame cupping his cheek. Jin feels a lightness in his knees, and all over.
Kame is watching him intently. Even through the daze, Jin knows it's a leap and he should… He gives a little nod, and that's enough. Kame's hand slides, slowly, into his hair, holds Jin there.
Kame draws in, some blurry beat vibrating all around them. Jin's aware of everything, the fabric of Kame's shirt as it moves, as Kame moves, the pulse in Kame's wrist, the flutter of his breath, and then Kame's soft lips on his, cool on first touch. Then warm, electrifying, as Kame presses closer.
Jin feels it run through Kame, too, finally; hears him gasp. He opens his mouth, invites Kame in and there's heat then, Kame's hand in his hair and Kame pushing him back, the kiss going deep, and perfect.
Kame holds him against the stair set, panting as Jin puts everything he wants into that kiss, everything he's offering.
Suddenly it's gone, cold. Kame blinking at him, pulled back on a hard breath. The fingers in Jin's hair are flexing, halting.
"You've got staff here," Kame says, his eyes a little wild.
Oh. Jin shakes his head, as much as he can, glad when Kame doesn't let go. "I sent them all home."
Something new flickers through Kame's eyes, sharp and rough, making Jin's knees buckle. He leans in again, and everything in Jin pulls tight and waiting and he can feel the lick of wetness he left on Kame's mouth—
Kame stops again. His breath is shallow, but he pulls back enough Jin can't close the distance. "Is— You're... married."
"Only in theory." His voice is rough like he sang too much. "I told you. We've worked it out, we're—" He breathes in harshly. "We've got an agreement, this is okay."
He can see Kame struggle on top of the moment, on top of the mood, and flash back on their conversation, wanting to be sure.
"I told you," he repeats, and then that's enough; he can barely breathe when Kame is back, his body crushing Jin against the step, the hand in his hair tightening and the other at his cheek, the kiss harder and wetter, and longer. Jin lets himself fall, lets Kame take whatever he wants, until Kame opens up to him again and he can push for more, and more. He's tingling all over, around a tight hot core, Kame's hands holding him fast while his own are stuck and trapped.
He slides his feet apart, lets Kame step in closer, and Kame gasps and presses up against him, arms going around Jin and all but holding him upright.
When they break apart, Kame's eyes are roaming over him. "We should get you out of that," he says, tracing the neck line of the straitjacket; running shaking fingers down the center of Jin's chest.
"You sure?" Jin says, pushing up his hips and suddenly Kame's hands are on them like he's trying to hold them still.
Kame is breathing hard. Jin wriggles, barely, just to feel that grip again. Kame is biting his lip and oh god so hot, and just a little cute, and just a little dangerous when his fingers tighten on Jin's hips and his eyes go even darker.
"I have a hotel," Jin says. "Five minute walk."
He can see Kame swallow when it sinks in that this is about more than just kissing, and when Kame says, "Okay," it sounds raspy.
Kame gives the jacket a last appreciative look, then gets Jin to turn and starts to unbuckle it. Jin feels the straps loosen with some regret, but no way could he wander around like this. When he slips the jacket off, he likes the feel of air across his sweat-damp t-shirt, but also feels oddly naked and unsexy.
Kame puts a hand on his back, and Jin sucks in a breath. Just a small, curious brush over the t-shirt, and then it's gone again.
"Let's go out the back so I can grab my bag," Jin says over his shoulder.
Kame looks flushed, and fascinated, but he nods.
They both hesitate at the same moment, looking out over the empty rows of chairs, the stage.
Here's another thing Jin's never done on this stage before.
"Let's go," he repeats, feeling like he already owns the place as they make it backstage.
He leads the way though Kame knows it well; past where costumes always waited and still wait, past the corner with props, and into the changing room which hasn't been redecorated in thirteen years. Then and now, and... here they are.
Kame's eyes are skimming the rows of Jin's costumes, the mess on the make-up table. Just one person's mess now, but there's a smile playing around Kame's mouth. Past and present. All good.
They've both come so far. Jin slings the bag over his shoulder. "Come on now." And they can take this as far as they want, too.
Even at two in the morning the air is still muggy. Hardly anyone around, but Jin's glad for his hat and their sunglasses anyway. They walk in silence, heads low and unobtrusive. Jin's pulse is thumping with every step.
As they approach the conbini, and his mind catches up past the now and to the later, he slows down. "I'll pick up some more stuff," he says, his damp neck prickling. "Mixers okay for you, or do you want beer?"
"I'll have whatever you're having," Kame says. They don't have to talk about going inside together. Kame draws into the smaller side street, hands in his pockets, and waits there.
The place isn't busy. Jin picks up the nicest vodka they have, which isn't as nice as he'd like but it'll do, then grabs some cokes on top. Then he walks along the aisles. Whatever part of him knew to book into a hotel by himself didn't think about other necessities. He picks up the condoms and the lube, and it's easy. Everything light and easy, like the perfect step in a dance.
It catches up with him, a bit, at the cash desk, where the sleepy sales guy can see his selection and have a pretty good idea of Jin's plans for the rest of the night. So he is glad when it's quick, the guy muttering the customary politenesses, twirling the handles of the bag like he would if Jin had bought cake or coffee, and then Jin's out of there.
Kame is leaning against a lamp-post, hair sagging in the humidity. When he looks up at Jin, the lightness turns to swirly, needy butterflies. "Next corner," he says. "We're almost there."
There's no more talk on the way, their pace faster than before. Through the window Jin sees nobody but the lone night porter at reception. Kame hangs back while he gets his key, then follows him to the elevator.
They're alone in it, and Jin considers... but no, there's a security camera. Kame has followed his gaze, smiles.
Jin's room is at the end of a long corridor and he counts down the doors impatiently. He jams the key card in the lock and at least it responds without fuss.
They're in. The door falls shut behind them and a moment later, Jin's with his back against it, being kissed. He's not even sure who grabbed whom first.
Kame's mouth is on his, hot and open, and then on his throat, his neck. Jin shivers, clutching at Kame's shoulders, bunching up fabric, everything drawing up tight and stuttering. He slides one hand around Kame's neck and pulls him up, in, kisses him back, drags lips and teeth along Kame's jaw and feels Kame press into him, clutch at Jin's t-shirt.
This. Kame gasping, messy, wanting. This.
No stopping; holding, grinding, kisses sloppy and unfocused, and Jin thinks, belts, his fingers twitching and sweaty. But then he knows better, cause this isn't all he wants.
He eases off, just enough. Meets Kame's dazed look and the question in it.
"I'm going to take a shower now."
His stomach does a slow, excited tumble when he says it, the magic words; he sees it hit home in the way Kame blinks, fast.
Kame swallows; nods, and takes his hands off him.
The air feels lonely around Jin already. But he's going to be quick.
The bathroom is a very normal hotel bathroom, but right now everything seems to shimmer. He brushes his teeth first. It's so mundane he almost giggles, and his fingers are unsteady until his hard-on fades a bit. Excitement is still thrumming through him under the lukewarm water when he uses twice the shampoo, soaps up everywhere, and takes special care to rinse everything out. The shower before. He's taking it for Kame. What is Kame thinking, right now? What is he doing?
Jin should have offered drinks first. Then he gets turned on again thinking how Kame didn't leave him time for that.
He towels his hair until it's just damp, and brushes it back out of his face. Turns his head a bit, his cheekbones are good like that, and it's a bit silly and vain and the heat flutters through him again.
Wrapped in one of the thick bathrobes and with his clothes bundled up under his arm, he opens the door back into the room. He feels like he's high on something, something really not legal.
Kame is sitting in the sole armchair. He's taken off his jacket, is holding a cigarette between his fingers. Holding it very precisely, his body all angles. His eyes are dark, a smile shining through when their eyes meet.
"Hi," Jin says, because that drug has also affected his brain.
"Hey." Kame sounds a little hoarse. He's very careful stubbing out the cigarette, and standing up. Pauses before the obvious. "My turn?"
"Do you want a drink first? I got vodka and coke."
Kame ponders that, maybe ponders Jin. "Later," he says, but on his way past Jin he stops; blinks up at Jin, before he leans in for a slow kiss, a chaste touch of his fingers just outside Jin's bathrobe. Then he's gone, and the shower starts.
Jin's hard again. He presses his wrists against his eyes and shakes his head a few times to clear it.
Okay, drinks. He gets everything out of the big bag, the bottle, the cans, the smaller bag which has the other stuff. Then he starts hunting for glasses, and finds two longdrink glasses in the minibar. He pours a generous measure of vodka into each and tops up with coke and then... then he has to wait.
It's a nice room, and the bed's a double. Not extravagant, but nice. Roomy and cozy at once. He sits down where Kame sat, with a view of it. White undisturbed linen. It'll feel good. Everything will be so good.
Kame left his cigarette pack on the table. Jin's tempted, but then he doesn't want to calm down. Doesn't need to. He has a sip of his drink, though, some extra heat to the buzz.
He's just got to the point of wondering how to talk about things, what he wants, when the water shuts off.
Jin takes another drink, very measured. Breathes.
The sound of the bathroom door feels sharp, makes him shiver. As Kame steps out, a cloud of steam follows him. He's wrapped in the second bathrobe, his hair damp as Jin's. With that new cut, it gives him a daring, self-possessed edge. Kame looks more butch outside of his clothes than in them. Grown-up.
He walks softly, watchfully, as he comes back over.
It's so funny how none of this is new or strange. Kame shy, Kame with his shoulders tense. Kame, excited. Even Kame in a bathrobe. None of it is new but now everything is.
"Hi," Jin says again, when what he means is 'So,' and 'Now.' He picks up the second drink and holds it out for Kame.
"Thank you," Kame says, having a sip. The wide sleeves of the bathrobe fall to reveal his toned underarms. He's radiating heat through the fabric, and without thinking, Jin reaches for the knot on his belt.
For a moment Kame goes utterly still.
That's okay, though. The knot's not fiddly but Jin's had a drink, and he's high anyway, and so this is helpful.
He undoes the it, and suddenly Kame is breathing again. Because the belt falls loose and Jin pushes the bathrobe back, and Kame's naked stomach is right there, sinking and tensing. He smells of the hotel soap and the warmth coming off him make Jin's face hot.
Kame's hard too. That's Kame's dick right there, hard enough to point up to Jin's chin. Jin feels a hot prickle all over his skin, everything he thought but more real, like landing in his own goddamn movie.
He runs his hands up Kame's thighs, up his stomach. Taking it easy. Letting Kame breathe.
When Jin leans his head back, Kame is biting his lip. Not holding his breath, but he's not moving either.
"Go on, have some more," Jin says, nodding at Kame's drink. Because in a moment Kame will be too busy.
"Bossy," Kame says with a small grin, but he takes a large gulp without taking his eyes off Jin, his stomach dipping tightly.
Jin reaches out, nice and slow, and runs a knuckle up the underside of Kame's erection. He's never touched another guy's dick before and it's... exhilarating. Kind of wild, how Kame holds himself so still but his dick twitches in Jin's direction; wild that he's turning Kame on like this, how Kame gets even harder, even bigger, more than Jin would have thought if he'd ever thought to think about it at all. It's curious to skirt under the head gently and see a couple of glistening drops form at the tip.
If he licked that off now...
He can still see Kame breathe, unevenly. There's a whiff of vodka in the air, a turn-on when he imagines Kame with his mouth dry, having his drink while Jin gets… familiar. He lets his fingers trail into the rough hair down there, deep black on pale skin. Kame's got quite a bit of it, neatly trimmed. Jin smiles, it's funny to learn that sort of thing, up close. There's a scent now besides soap, more natural and raw and that's another turn-on.
"I hope at least you know you're being a tease," Kame says hoarsely, and when Jin looks up again Kame is fondling his drink nervously and uselessly. He's all careful as he bends and sets the drink down, and then he pulls Jin closer, Jin's face against his belly, Kame's hand on Jin's back and the other in his hair.
Jin closes his hand around Kame's dick, just holds. "Saving it for later." And feels another, sharp twitch in his hand. "Let's get on the bed," he says.
Kame half lets him go, half pulls him up. For a moment Jin feels disoriented with the lights of the room and the smell of carpet freshener and furniture polish but then they're kissing again, learning the best spots by now, a dizzy trail of mouth and jaw and throat. Kame's bathrobe slips off one shoulder and Jin takes care of the rest, stroking down Kame's naked back, holding his hips and pushing against them like some suggestive dance. This was the best idea ever.
Somehow they shuffle in the right direction, and there's the bed, behind Jin's knees, and he drops down on it, Kame following. He's leaning over Jin, and then his mouth is back, open and demanding and Jin is happy to give.
Better than any drink he's ever had, Jin thinks. Kame's skin, Kame arching into his touch as they keep kissing, and pressing closer, that hard-on he already liked thrusting against him when Kame forgets to think, and everything fitting, perfect.
Then Kame raises his head and props himself up a bit, his hand sliding slowly down to Jin's waist. His eyes are all fire but controlled. "I'm going to take off that belt now," he says, but waits; holds everything right there.
Jin feels the grin take over his entire face, but manages to say, "Yes, I am okay with that," and then giggles after all and points out, "and also that was about time," over Kame's flushing indignation. But then Kame's dealt with the knot on Jin's bathrobe and throws it open and... stops. Looks. Jin shuts up.
So that's what that felt like, he thinks with a hot shiver. Being... examined, touched, explored. Kame puts a hand on his belly and Jin thinks he could come just from that. He holds his breath. Watches Kame while Kame learns him slowly, stroked chest and nipples, flanks, hips and finally...
When Kame takes hold of his cock he can't help a moan.
Kame gives him a pleased look, and Jin reaches out and pulls him down. Skin against naked skin, at last, and Kame has let go of him but now their cocks rub against each other, against each other's bellies, and oh god. Them, like this. Does Kame also feel how right this is, how long ago it should have happened?
"This isn't what I expected when I came to see you tonight," Kame is saying, between a warm line of kisses up Jin's cheek, to his temple, and it makes Jin close his eyes.
"But it's good?"
Kame thrusts against him again, and the kisses move down again, hotter and dirtier. "I think that's evident," he says. "Even better if we can get you out of that bathrobe altogether."
Jin bucks against him. "I'm okay with that too," he rasps, and now it's Kame who laughs, which is great. Though it's harder than it seems, lying down. Jin wriggles and shifts but he can't even get an arm out. "Okay, this reminds me of my straitjacket... "
Kame lifts himself up for more room, and looks down at Jin's twisting with... interest. "I thought we liked the straitjacket." He takes hold of Jin's arm, stretches for the other one, and Jin's too intrigued to offer resistance. Then he finds his wrists crossed in front of his stomach, Kame clutching the loose ends of the sleeves in one fist, twisting them tight. "Like this."
It's a hot jolt right to his dick, oh god yes.
"And then," Kame says, "I'd do this... " A deep kiss, a scrape at his jaw, and then Kame's free hand is around Jin's dick while his tongue teases behind Jin's ear, his breathless laugh tickling and tingling. Jin arches into it, making some ridiculous noise. When Kame's hand cups his balls he jerks, pulls at the sleeves instinctively, but Kame has them tight. Leaves every part of Jin trembling.
"Kiss me again," he says, and Kame's mouth is on his at once, hot and deep, and Kame's hand playing him below, and he's no longer sure of his own name.
"I want to touch you," he mumbles in the end, and Kame lets go of his hands at once. He brings one up to Kame's face, to touch his cheek, his jaw, feel their kiss in his fingertips. "You're amazing," he mutters belatedly against Kame's lips. "You make me feel amazing."
Kame's cock jerks against his hip, needy, demanding, and he gropes for it down there, closes his palm around it; feels it thicken.
"Do you want to fuck me?" he says.
Kame breaks the kiss. Pushes away to see Jin's face. "Are you serious?"
Suddenly Jin's face is very hot. He thinks he can feel his dick shrivel. But he's also checking out Kame's, and that is standing to attention. No, not on the wrong track here.
"I bought stuff," he says. He rolls over and grabs the bag from by the bed, rolls back and upends it on the bed.
Kame looks from him to the lube and condoms, and back. And there and back again. "You— you did."
"I don't know if it's your brand," Jin says, feeling again like he's riding something, something high and electrifying.
"It's—" There's a cute frown of concentration on Kame's face. "You bought it on the way."
"Yeah. With the vodka."
Kame licks his lips the way Jin recognizes. Tilts his head. "Have you ever done that before?"
"Well," Jin says. "You have."
"I've only been with experienced guys." Kame looks like it pains him to admit it.
"But you know how it works."
Kame does the looking thing a couple more times; condoms, Jin. Condoms, Jin. Like he's waiting for Jin to realize he's out of his depth, or to shout 'Fooled you!' at the top of his voice.
"I want to," Jin says.
Kame flushes high, takes a shivery breath. "Me too," he says, "I want... I always... I. I want to. But you can change your mind."
Jin takes his hand. Puts the supplies in it. "Don't go making me all nervous."
It's a bit funny how instantly Kame shifts to reassuring headshaking. "No. No, it'll be fine. We'll take it slow."
Real slow. No rush. Jin's good with those. He lies back and spreads his legs just a little, indicating there's room. "So come back down here and kiss me again." He can't get enough of it – the softness, the urge. Kame's a great kisser.
Kame smiles and takes a moment to unpack the lube, get out a condom sachet. Then he settles between Jin's legs, a gentle controlled weight. He cups Jin's face with his hands, close and warm and a little bit sweet. Jin likes being held like this, Kame touching his lips with his thumbs even as he's licking him open for a deeper kiss.
Jin can tell the kisses are more calculated now, the nibbling and teasing. Meant to get him in the mood. He laughs softly, lets his hips answer that the mood's all there and his hard-on is coming back, and lets the moan out when Kame thrusts against him.
Kame keeps the kisses coming but one of his hands wanders south, Kame shifting to give it room. Jin shuts his eyes and traces it, his breastbone, his belly, his dick. His balls, and it lingers there, warm and gentle... and then it's gone. He feels Kame grope beside him, fiddle, squeeze, and when his hand returns it's wet and slippery. Kame sucks Jin's tongue into his mouth, and at the same time his hand slips... behind. Jin tilts his hips up a bit, his heartbeat in his ears.
It's like he can feel every milimeter Kame's moving there. Slowly, slowly... ground zero. Kame rubs a little, a slippery massage. A finger steals inside, and Jin tenses – but just for a moment, because it's fine, all is good. He breaks the kiss to nibble on Kame's bottom lip, cards through Kame's hair, soft and shorter than ever. It suits him.
"Okay?" Kame says, with a look that tries hard to say 'no pressure'.
"Absolutely," Jin says. "Totally. Keep going." That presence there is starting to feel normal. Even when it starts to... move, to circle... it's no big deal.
He nuzzles Kame's earlobe, tongues that pretty earring, and Kame laughs, his dick stirring against Jin's hip again. Soon, Jin thinks, real soon, and it brings that warm buzz back, makes him strain for more of what Kame is doing down there.
Kame takes his time, a slow touch, a soothing weight on Jin. They kiss and fondle and find each other's dicks with their hands, tease a little, pump a little, until the newness down there is just a background thing, forgotten among the other sensations. Jin only remembers when Kame stills and slowly, very slowly, withdraws.
"What do you think now?" he says. The flush all over looks good on him. He's kept a hand on Jin's knee, drawing warm tender circles like he's not even aware of it. "Are you up for it?"
Jin's mind is swirling, please and yes and no more waiting but he just smiles and wiggles his hips. "Can you see how up I am?" And Kame even more so, his cock full and fat and seeking, and if he comes before he's inside Jin, Jin's going to cry with frustration.
Maybe Kame is thinking something like it too, because he sits back and reaches for the condom. There's a smile around his eyes, and he rolls down the latex easily. God, he looks good.
Then he kneels back over Jin and Jin shivers, it's now— but Kame leans down first, gives him another kiss. "I'll go slow," he says. "If something's wrong or you want to stop, for whatever reason, just say."
Jin nods, sure. He's not dumb.
Kame's not all the way on top of him but definitely close. Nuzzling, petting. Jin feels latex drag over his stomach and he thinks he's breaking out in sweat, yes, this. Soon.
"It can feel a bit strange, but it's not supposed to hurt," Kame says quietly, brushing hair out of Jin's eyes. "I don't want to hurt you."
"Don't worry. I'll tell you." Jin puts his hands on Kame's waist, which feels so solid now, so good, and somehow that makes Kame smile again, and nod.
Then he lifts himself up, sits back.
Jin watches him apply what seems like a month's supply of lube to himself, and that's it now, ready to go. His stomach does another excited flip and he spreads wider.
Kame's arms come under his knees and Kame moves in, right between his thighs, tilts him up a little, a hand spreading him open. There's that feeling of something nudging again, and it gets stronger, and—
Jin bites his lip, it's not slipping in like before, keeps spreading him and spreading and, oh god, spreading, and suddenly—
"Breathe," Kame says, and he does, desperately.
"Wait," he manages somewhere in there but Kame is already waiting, unmoving, while Jin tries to stop sounding like he's having a heart attack. His whole body is trembling; he feels the stretch down to his fingertips, the fill to the roots of his hair.
Kame's hand is stroking his belly softly, soothingly. "You're doing great. That's the hardest part over."
Okay, good. Good to know. He still doesn't dare move a finger, but he's breathing less like a stranded fish.
"Sorry," he says. "Just a little longer."
"As long as you need."
Kame knows what he's doing. It's the clearest it's ever been in this total control and it rushes over Jin, and somewhere, weirdly, turns him on, even as he can't move.
Kame keeps stroking him, cupping his shrunken dick, telling him he's doing well. It's maybe a minute until everything's back to normal and the impatient little twitches of Kame's cock inside him don't make him tense up again.
He takes a breath and is no longer careful about it. "Okay. I'm good."
"I'll move in a bit more." Kame leans in, and... yeah, that's different. No further stretch, just steady, filling up... and when he thought he was full earlier, he was clearly wrong.
"How— how much further?" he asks when Kame stops again.
"About halfway," Kame says and whoa, how can that feel like so much? He hears himself gasp again but Kame is waiting, patient like he can wait forever. "That's plenty for now," he says, fingers stroking softly at Jin's hips. "Are you okay?" His eyes are searching Jin's face as if he's trying to read an indemnity waiver there.
"I'm okay. Like you said... strange." He licks his lips and finds them dry, rides that thought out. "But not bad. I'm okay." And with that, with okay, the delight has come back, they're doing this, they are really doing it, Kame between his legs, Kame's arms holding him up, Kame inside him. "I'm really fine. Get moving."
When Kame pulls back, he gasps, what is that... but Kame pushes and it's over; same again, and again, and he's getting used to it, and he shoots Kame a smile, they're good.
It's not wild or even fast, feels more invasive than it is, he can see as much once he settles into it. A careful rocking motion, Kame showing him, easing him in, slow and steady.
He moves his hips into it just a tiny bit, for a taste, and gets a thrill from the changed sensation, and from seeing Kame notice. The next thrust comes a bit longer, a bit deeper, and Jin nods just for the record; still good, great.
Kame picks it up a little but it's still slow. Slow enough Jin can feel it when he's all the way in. Kame's hips move shallowly, and Jin feels coarse hair and all of Kame's concentration.
"You look hot when you do that," Jin says.
Kame seems to flush deeper, but he doesn't falter, and his smile is kind of cheeky. "You look hot when I do that, too." There's one slow thrust, all of Kame's stomach tense. Showing off.
It's heat all over, sweat, and need, and Jin lets Kame see it, lets him feel it with the flex in his thighs. "Give me some more," he says.
Kame breathes out shakily but his grip goes firmer and the next pull is longer, making Jin moan.
He reaches out for Kame's arms, sees Kame go watchful and says, "Don't stop." He just wants to touch.
There's a thin film of sweat on Kame's skin; the muscles in his forearms are tense from holding Jin up, holding their balance.
Jin's still wearing that bathrobe. He'd forgotten it was there.
Kame shoots him a grin; he's noticed it too. "Not as bad as socks," he says, and Jin giggles into the gasp that comes with the next thrust. He's starting to like this, now there are no more surprises, now he can concentrate on feeling good, on enjoying how Kame is taking him.
More and deeper now, but still, always, controlled. So controlled. Keeping the pace right for Jin.
"You're good at this," he says, trailing his fingers higher, the wide sleeves falling back. Kame's hair falls in his face as he smiles, more answer than shyness. Kame likes being good at this. The pace really lets him watch, see the thrusts in Kame's body too, and it swirls through him how right he was to want this.
He lets his hands sink down slowly, pulls them in on his stomach. The fabric is touching his hands again and Kame is right there, between his legs, inside him, holding him—
"Do that thing again," he says. "The jacket thing."
Kame blinks. For a moment Jin's afraid there was an etiquette rule and he broke it. "The... " But he's got it, sees it. "While I'm... " He falters but the next thrust makes the point anyway.
"Yes," Jin says roughly, getting surer by the second. "Thought we liked that."
Kame seems to think it over for another thrust or two and Jin is breathing hard just from waiting. There's some balancing to it, Kame gently hinting with some pressure on Jin's thigh but it comes natural anyway, wrapping his legs around Kame's waist, holding himself up now and oh, god, the different tension is another charge, makes everything feel tight and open at the same time.
Kame trails his hands to Jin's wrists, and then he doesn't ask again, just keeps watching Jin's face as he takes hold of the bathrobe's cuffs, makes a fist; and then twists hard, and sharp.
Jin makes a noise. Wants more. And Kame fucks him just the same but it explodes over him, the echo coming back from every movement, the pressure everywhere.
"You really like going for broke, Akanishi," Kame says, in the fondest, quietest tone.
And that's another buzz, another turn-on, and he's too far gone to even laugh, too busy straining with his hands, his hips...
Kame's hand closes around his cock.
It fires through him and he blinks his eyes open for a second but then he sinks back under. He bucks against the touch, for more, comes down and oh god, it's too much, it's just right, it's perfect. Kame is everywhere. He's got to hold on, the sheets, Kame, something, but he can't move, he's... trapped and held and wild with it and there is the rhythm, a hot shaky daze Kame pulls him into.
He rides it till he's shaking, this slow dizzying curve, the rocking and the pressure and his dick harder in Kame's fist, Kame's hand surer, then demanding. And then he's close, tightening his legs around Kame because he can take more and he wants more and there's one more hard thrust, and another, and his legs are burning and his ass is straining and his hands can't do anything, and then Kame squeezes him, tight and fast and he pushes into it, coming and arching and gone.
He hears himself breathe, loud like he's been gagged not bound.
Everything slows down. The touch, Kame. Kame inside him, barely moving. The hold on his arms eases up and he opens his eyes, finds Kame sweaty and waiting. Flushed and cute and Jin could float like this forever.
Kame moves his hands to support him again. "Everything okay?" he asks, calm, easy.
Jin nods stupidly, tries to sort of maybe get it together, find enough air. He reaches to touch Kame's arms again, but it's unfocused, blurry. "I'm great," he says, for the record. He trails his fingers up Kame's stomach, which is damp and tense and... still hot there with Kame between his legs, and Kame's twitch sends another shiver through him.
"You still good for some more?" Kame asks. "Or do you need a break?"
Jin shakes his head. "I'm good. I don't need a break."
"It would be okay if you did," Kame says, but he doesn't sound worried, just... adorably precise.
Jin laughs a bit, he's not sure why. Then he flexes his hips, because he can.
Kame pulls back in answer, and comes back firm, strong.
Kame builds it up, still gives him time, Jin can tell this much through the new pace that takes him up to different sort of dizzy. Different from this end, just being taken, what Kame needs rushing over him and through him.
Not much for him to do but stay steady, and he's breathless again just from the force of it. Kame's eyes are heavy but open and Jin's skin prickles wherever they roam, hot like Kame's sweaty grip. There's a blink, a break when Kame catches Jin's eyes and Jin smiles to say it's okay, Kame can look where he wants, and then he lets his head fall back, lets the pace steal his breath and lets Kame take and watch.
Fast. Burning, with everything. Kame getting ragged and Jin can feel it's the end, he peeks and there's a line between Kame's eyebrows, Kame's breathing harsh, and Kame's looking down at him all blunt and dazed and then it's there, thrusts faltering out, slowing, pulsing. He wonders if Kame ever closed his eyes at all.
Kame is panting, still holding on. All control gone now.
Jin reaches out for one of his hands, squeezes a little. A squeeze comes back, and Kame smiles, fuzzily; a post-encore kind of smile, only better.
He reaches up to push a strand of hair aside, lingers on Kame's cheek, his lips. Kame brushes a hazy kiss against his fingers. His breath is getting more normal.
Jin thinks someone should maybe say something, but the only real stuff that comes to mind is lame, and he doesn't want to spoil the mood with smartassery.
Kame stirs between his thighs, sets his legs down carefully. "I'm... I need to deal with this."
The slip out is almost unnoticeable, but it's got a weird sense of finality; it's really over now. Jin doesn't like the thought much.
Kame strips off the condom tidily, ties a knot in the top and drops it beside the bed. Then he stretches out beside Jin, head propped up on an elbow. After a second his hand slides low on Jin's chest. Jin reaches behind his neck and pulls him down for a kiss.
"Thank you," he says.
Kame gives a surprised laugh. His hand slides down to Jin's dick, cups it protectively. "I'm glad it was okay."
Way more than okay. And Jin's dick isn't above responding to the thought.
Kame pats it like one might a small dog, then runs his hand back up Jin's stomach. Jin lets go of Kame's neck, stretches out with his arms over his head. He's aware of entirely new parts of his body, and it feels a little debauched.
It's peaceful, just lying around, coming down.
Eventually Kame sighs. "Bathroom. Be right back."
"Be right here," Jin says, and then he's alone in the bed, the room; alone with himself after this crazy, this wonderful thing he did.
He'd do it again anytime. His ass still feels weird, but he likes it, it reminds him. He grins up at the ceiling.
He's still smiling, driftily, when Kame comes back. "Hey."
He didn't fix his hair or anything. Dishevelled looks good on him. Dishevelled and grown up. And naked. And having a nice dick that makes people feel good. It all looks excellent on him.
"Hey," Kame says. He hands Jin one of the small towels without comment, it's damp and Jin wipes the rest of his come off his belly. Somehow even the slight awkwardness is fun, and they smile at each other.
Kame stays half-kneeling on the bed. "Do you smoke after?"
"I don't have a rule about it," Jin says, trying to sound very serious and failing. "Get me one too."
So Kame goes to pick up his cigarette pack from where he left it on the table, which has the added benefit of providing the backside view of naked Kame. Which Jin also likes. The shoulders that got wider and honestly pretty buff, that deep dip in his spine, his hips and... Now Jin wonders what that would be like, what that would feel like.
The wondering makes him fidget a little, and he tries to look harmless.
Watching Kame, all of his skin, and thinking of all the ways Jin could touch him also reminds him to finally get that bathrobe off. He bundles it up and drops it with some care beside the bed. Maybe he'll steal it, as a souvenir.
Kame also brings the ashtray back with him. He sits on the bed, half leaning against the headboard, and shakes out two smokes.
Jin doesn't really think smoking is cool or grown-up anymore, he's over that. It's a stupid thing teenagers think. But watching Kame light his cigarette, he forgets for a moment.
Maybe it's his attentive stare, but Kame passes him the lit cigarette right from his lips, and quirks an eyebrow. Maybe it's also that Kame is into constant foreplay, because this takes it from cool to something else. Who knows. Jin fidgets again and sort of crosses his legs.
The first inhale brings back memories, too; it's been years since he's had one of Kame's organic health whatever cigarettes.
"Still not a fan?" Kame seems terribly amused.
"They haven't changed." Jin takes another drag. "But I'll cope."
"That's a relief," Kame says, insincerely. Then he meets Jin's eyes. "Apart from the substandard drugs, though... you still feeling okay?"
"I'm feeling fabulous." Jin runs a foot up Kame's hairy shin, a hand up his thigh. Keeps it there, casually next to Kame's dick. "This was fabulous. You are fabulous."
Kame laughs, and now the relief sounds more real.
"I wish you wouldn't worry," Jin says. "Did I look like I had a complaint?"
"No," Kame concedes. With a grin, he adds, "You looked shameless and fabulous."
It gives Jin a new little charge, thinking of Kame looking at him, then.
They take a few peaceful drags. Jin catches Kame looking a bit more, and likes it.
"So, do you always stay in hotels?" Kame asks after a while. "I mean before a show."
Jin tries to remember. This year's tour is not that old yet. "Not always," he says. "In Tokyo only when I'm nervous and worry about being distracted, I guess. We stayed over with the crew when we were far out, of course."
Kame nods like that makes sense. His eyes roam the room, like he's checking the walls. "Your crew is staying here too?"
That... Jin remembers making the booking. Feels his ears turning hot at a thought that's only ever been nipping at him from the edges. "No," he says slowly. "No, not this time."
Kame catches it, the tone or the ears. "I... see," he says, like he sees indeed but despite the entertainment value can't quite believe it.
"I didn't really... I wasn't really planning anything. But, I guess... " Embarrassment aside, this is hard to explain when he's still figuring it out for himself. "I invited you and I didn't want any... I wanted to have all— I wasn't really clear on what the options were but, but... " He shoots Kame a rueful smile. "It was just a kind of feeling."
Kame's look is frankly admiring. "Sometimes," he says, "I forget just what an inspired kind of idiot you are."
For want of a good answer, Jin sucks on his cigarette again.
"So tell me," Kame says after a minute.
Jin braces himself.
Kame is observing him a little cautiously, and then taking a deep breath. "And I would like to preface this by saying that there is no wrong answer, and that I don't have a problem with anything that happened tonight," he says in a matching calm tone, not taking his eyes off Jin. "And I don't want you to take me asking as a sign that I'll start having a problem with anything. All right?"
"Right," Jin says. "Got it."
"What was this thing tonight?"
Jin stares at him for a beat. Yeah, he... guesses that's not an unfair question. "I'm... like I said, I didn't have, I didn't know... But, tomorrow's going to be... this big fucking deal and... "
Sometimes Jin's life would be so much easier if someone could just take all the complicated but perfectly comprehensible feelings in his head and drop them into someone else's head straight, without the need to filter them through words.
"I wanted you to be part of it."
There, that's... a start. The start maybe.
Kame is looking at him, and... blinking. And then breaking into a grin. And then he's snorting, giggling, with his eyes going tiny and his shoulders shaking, in that way that is kind of really irritating when you're not in on the joke.
Jin is frowning and about to protest but then Kame ditches his cigarette and is leaning into him, planting a giggly kiss on Jin's cheek, and into the bend of his neck.
When he lifts his head, he peers at Jin like a cheeky puppy. "I liked being part of it, but you could have just sent me a ticket," he says, slipping his hand under Jin's ass just to make the point, and Jin rolls his eyes so hard they might fall off the bed.
"My way had more style," he says in a fake huff, and grabs Kame's ass right back. "I thought you were right into 'style'."
"Sorry," Kame says, grinning. The kiss to Jin's shoulder seems playful rather than apologetic.
"I can't believe I let a jerk like you fuck me," Jin adds because now he feels a little daring, and it's nice how it makes Kame take a sharp breath.
"Well." Kame props himself up again, and he's still smiling, but sobering too. "I experienced a little disbelief myself." He stays there, close enough to touch but so he can see Jin, too. "Seriously now," he says. "Was that really the reason?"
Jin thinks about it. "Yes," he says in the end. "But... there was a reason for the reason." He can see how Kame is valiantly suppressing new giggles. "Fuck you, you know I'm bad at explaining stuff. "
"Yeah, I know." Kame manages to sound calm. "It's okay, take your time. I really want to know."
"Well, it's just... Forum." That's it, really. "Remember? It was our first— it was so amazing. And you and I, we... " Who knew what might have happened if only they'd paid attention to themselves. "Anyway. And now Forum for me, and it's the first big venue, and I was thinking about it, and about us, and about back then and... and I wanted to see you."
Kame nods as if he is following. So far, anyway.
"And that was really all, except... " He gestures. The room, the bed. "I think I knew more than I knew about... I don't know. Maybe that if good things were going to happen with us they had to have a chance to happen. "
Kame's hand is on Jin again, lightly, still giving him time. Just brushing over the pauses, the wrinkles in Jin's brain.
"I didn't even know if you'd come but then... you were there and then you were all into my hotness and... "
Kame snorts but doesn't interrupt, and Jin takes another breath because he doesn't actually want to make light of this. "It made sense. Even more when you were there and… How you look and how you move and the air about you, it's all… it all fits. I wanted it." It doesn't matter that it was weird and he danced for Kame and they made out on a stage, because in his heart it makes sense.
Kame seems to think that over; maybe remembers. "I guess… I just never expected that," he says. "I didn't expect you'd count sex with me as a good thing."
"Yeah," Jin says, "turns out I do," and reaches out. He touches Kame's face, tugs at a strand of hair, and then, because it's important not to dilute anything, important for Kame to know it too; says, "I really wanted you."
He was right, too; sees the soft shine in Kame, right before Kame tilts his head and tries not to show it but oh, Jin still knows that look, Kame trying to look smoother than he is.
He's nice, though, and kisses Kame again for distraction, and punctuation.
"So, does that mean... " Kame clears his throat, blinks a bit. Then focuses with the serious face again, and declares, "And, really, I promise there's no wrong answer here either. I just wonder if you think that... this might happen again sometime?"
That is also not an unfair question. And a much easier one. "I'd say there's a distinct possibility." Jin enjoys how natural it comes, saying it just like that, and how fresh color shoots into Kame's face.
"Maybe when you 're nervous and nostalgic before your first arena concert," Kame suggests, and first that sounds cute but then really not.
"Maybe next week," Jin says. "If we can get our schedules to match."
Kame looks surprised for a moment; then like he's running through a diary in his head, and then a little stunned like he's actually uncovered relevant information. Yeah.
"I think that would work for me," he says. "I mean, I'm sure I could work something out." He slips his fingers back onto Jin's stomach, light and preoccupied.
"By the way, I've already done arena," Jin says, feeling kind of particular about that detail all of a sudden. "Abroad, even."
Kame's caution melts into a smile, the diffident touch turning possessive and firm. "Sorry," Kame says. "Of course."
Jin rolls on his side and decides he's been restrained long enough, and touches Kame right back. Runs his hand all the way up from just above his groin to his shoulder. "I've got a concert next Saturday, I might need some unwinding before that," he says, just to throw that out there and to watch Kame think and imagine some more details. " Just a thought. Or I'm free quite a lot the week after." Then he doesn't wait for an answer, just pushes up and rolls half on top of Kame and puts their mouths together.
Kame gives a short gasp but then grabs him and pulls him in tight. His lips are soft, knowing, and Jin wants more. He puts his hands in Kame's hair and licks his mouth open, and goes deep with his tongue. Kame makes a low sound, and can surely feel Jin's dick is showing an interest again, is slipping hot palms on Jin's hips and doesn't seem to mind at all...
"Speaking of unwinding," he mumbles, close enough his breath still drags over Kame's mouth, and he can feel Kame's smile.
"I don't think I'm properly unwound and relaxed for tomorrow." He grinds his hips towards Kame for a general hint, liking the pressure that comes back. He lifts his head enough to be able to look at Kame, see his lips red and thick with kissing, and god yes, he wants that.
"Hmmmm," Kame is saying. "What shall we do about that?"
"Well, I was just thinking... " How to say that without being creepy? He cups Kame's face with one hand, brushes over his cheek and... just rests his thumb there, on Kame's bottom lip. Strokes a little. "I thought, you know. That might be nice."
Kame's eyes widen just barely, and Jin can feel Kame's mouth moving, a grin. He feels it like a teasing caress drawing all the way through him, and he runs his touch along Kame's upper lip.
"You think, hm?" Kame says softly. "Shall we see if you're right?" He flicks his tongue against Jin's touch, and Jin feels another shiver.
"Yes, please," he says.
Kame's arms come around him and before Jin knows it he's flipped them over, strong like no time Jin can remember. That's hot, too.
Kame kneels up. Puts a firm hand on Jin's chest. "Then I'll see what I can do for you." He parts Jin's legs to kneel between them again, leans forward, and Jin exhales slowly, deeply.
It's kisses all the way, wet and soft and promising. He threads his fingers through Kame's hair and when Kame doesn't mind, he leaves them there. Feels the direction, then gets more urgent as Kame's lips drag over his stomach, a ticklish heat that stays, and spreads, and Jin almost can't keep his hips still.
His fingers are flexing and he nudges Kame just... a bit. Almost didn't mean to, and is relieved when Kame laughs, his breath warm on damp skin.
"You should have more patience," he says, and for a moment seems to consider more talking, or more teasing, but then there's a hint of a smile, just before he wraps a hot solid hand around Jin and then his mouth closes over Jin.
Jin breathes; doesn't have to do anything. Not even think. He watches, though, because it's hot and it's Kame, Kame there between his legs, settled and steady, and Jin keeps threading his fingers through Kame's hair, not in a hurry but jittery on, up.
It's dreamy and easy, quiet except for his gasps, the odd wet sound. His hips start moving with it and Kame takes that on, moving faster on Jin, under his hands. A long slow rise, and Jin's the one getting sucked off but he feels all open, ready to fall.
Soon he's breathing hard, sweat coming back, and need, and he stutters over Kame's rhythm once or twice but then Kame's mouth goes tighter and deeper and there are sharp huffy breaths as Kame picks it up, and takes him to the finish.
He comes with a moan, a thick, "yes", his mouth dry and damp at the same time and his fingers clenching before he remembers, and Kame's head is still sinking and rising, swallowing around him, right until he's done, completely spent.
Kame peers up at him, and Jin wants to say something, really. But his brain is mush and his body is lax and useless. So he just tugs feebly. Kame wipes his face on the way up, and Jin does the first and only thing he can think of, wraps himself entirely around him while his heart slows down.
Kame covers him. Pets him. Kind of wakes him up as he's in danger of drifting off.
When Jin is breathing normally again, Kame pushes off enough to look at him. "Did you get what you wanted?" he asks. There's a sparkle in his eyes and his mouth is darker than ever. So hot. So gorgeous.
"Except for how I'm not asleep now, yeah," Jin says with a hoarse giggle, but then he gets it together and catches Kame's face with his hands, pulls him down. "Yes. Very much yes. Thank you."
All this newness. All the things they can discover now.
"Good," Kame whispers over his lips.
"How about you? "
"Hmmm," Kame goes again. He drops his head and starts nibbling on Jin's jaw, the poke of his erection not entirely concealed. "I know rising superstars need their beauty sleep," he says thoughtfully. "But I admit you got me all horny again."
Jin laughs, mostly at himself because how is that making him blush, now? "Well, what do you want for your encore?"
Kame's kissing the bend of his neck now, sweaty and messy and Jin could drift off on this too. "I thought you didn't do encores anymore…"
"Exceptions, blah blah," Jin mumbles, stretching his head back. "Special occasions. What do you want?"
"What I want," Kame says, "in theory... " He pulls at Jin's earlobe with a hint of teeth. "Is turn you over, pull your ass up and just have my way with you."
Jin gulps. It's... not without... god, the image... but...
Kame pulls up. He gives Jin a fond grin. "But I think that would be a bit much right now."
"You can!" Jin's not going to say no to anything, really. Kame's known what was doing all night and...
But Kame shakes his head. "Remember you're new to this. And you have a show to dance tomorrow." He brushes his mouth over Jin's jaw again, and Jin pretends he's not blushing, again.
And fair point, that would be... distracting. "We can keep that for next time then," he says, and likes the gleam it strikes in Kame's eyes.
Kame bends down for another kiss, nips lightly at his lips. "All the nice things to look forward to."
Oh. "Do you want me to... "
"Touch me," Kame says. "Keep it simple."
Simple works too, Jin thinks. Jin can do simple. Reaching down, Kame rolling in close, so close there's just skin and warmth and a sweaty grip, the blur when he feels how Kame got hard just from blowing him, simple works. "I like some lube," Kame mumbles, and yeah, that isn't even new. Just easy, and Kame guides his hand too, shows him the strength he likes, how it's good, and next time Jin will learn so much but now he just feels and takes cues, and lets Kame curl into him.
Simple, amazing, and he could still drift off on this, his face damp where it's pressed into Kame's neck and Kame's jerks shallow, lazy. Kame's scent, and sex, and ragged breaths, and slippery hardness moving in his hand as he's half stroking, half letting Kame fuck into his fist, and he doesn't know anymore if he's getting Kame off with his touch or with the closeness and how he feels to Kame's roaming hands, the grip on his shoulders and his ass and his hair.
Kame comes with a groan and a hot scraping kiss up Jin's neck, and Jin wants to wrap himself in the sound, and Kame's clinging heat and the pulsing stickiness between them.
He keeps holding on until Kame has stopped coming, and longer, nibbling drunkenly at Kame's ear and neck, letting him get his breath back. He feels Kame's dick shrink and soften in his hand and he doesn't know why but it makes him even happier, his head even foggier.
"So… that was okay?"
Kame's still plastered against him, and heavier, sleepier. But he raises his head to show Jin a smile. "I think I'm perfectly unwound, too."
They stay like that, a while, until they both get too hot. Kame asks Jin if they have to shower and Jin says he just wants to sleep, which for some reason makes Kame laugh. A hazy three minutes and they're ready for bed, and then they're lying in the dark, drowsy.
"Thank you," Jin says, just because.
"Idiot," Kame says, and his hand sneaks over to Jin's side to touch his hip, and stays there.
He's bouncing on his feet. The clock is counting down but in these moments it always feels off, like the seconds are either too long or too short or just generally fucking with him. His crew is small but at the start of a show they seem to multiply and be everywhere, like ants.
The DVD filming makes it worse. But he's had two cigarettes, there's a drink waiting for him after the tricky bits, and he's done this before.
He breathes in deep, the bustling and the noise and the tension. The hall stretching out beyond the stage door.
He's done all of this before.
It runs through him like a whisper, memories and songs, his plans and his past and his fears.
The announcement starts, and the screams come roaring back. Jin's heartbeat jumps. It's loud.
In his head Kame is breathing a kiss on his stomach, Kame is bouncing off the walls in a blue shiny costume, Kame smiles, Kame holds his clammy hand behind a giant stage. Kame holds Jin still. Kame tastes of coffee.
Past and future. Jin's got this.
It's time. Time to step into the set, step up. Rock this place.
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