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The Same Deep Water As You

by Solo & Jo

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Chapter 33

 

Sunday 28 December

Jin marches through Kame's dingy neighbourhood, wrapped up tight in scarf and gloves and clinging to his umbrella for dear life. He's keeping his chin down against an unforgiving wind. His ears are cold, which sucks. Can't put a beanie over good escort hair. Though he might as well have, the damp chill's not doing him any favours.

Then he's finally at the gate between the hedges where Kame buzzes him in, and he hurries up the stairs.

Kame is waiting at the door. Unfazed by the cold, just in some thin smart shirt. At first Jin thinks his hair is wet, before he realizes it's just darker. Jin smiles without thinking, warming up under his layers with a little blush.

"Hi," he says, and realizes then it's muffled by the scarf.

Kame waves him in quickly. The quiet is resounding when he shuts the door on the weather.

"Hi," Kame says. "I hope you took a taxi."

"Uh," Jin says. Taxis are for when he's desperate to get home after midnight. If he took one every time the weather's a bit uncomfortable… well; he doesn't suck cocks so he can pass the cash on to cab drivers. "It wasn't so bad."

He's pulled off the gloves and resists the urge to huff hot air on his fingertips. Unwinding the scarf takes a bit, as he pulled it tighter than he's probably supposed to with these cashmere things.

"Anyway, I wrapped up well," he says when he sees Kame frowning. "Can't usually do that when I have to dress up." For other clients, clients who haven't told him it's okay to dress comfortably.

Kame gets it and smiles.

Jin hopes he likes the clothes on him, too. He had to go buy them new, not that he's going to mention that. All he had until three days ago was stuff that's okay for the bar and the baggy faded jeans he likes to wear around the house. T-shirts and chunky sweaters. Not what any client means when they say comfortable, not even Kame.

"You look really good," Kame says. "I mean, not that… but you look good."

"Thanks." Jin smiles back, hoping Kame won't apologize again for accidentally looking at him, and while he's fully dressed to boot.

He's gone with the olive green slacks and the light beige shirt for a first try, and the snazzy black denim jacket he kind of liked himself. He told the shop lady he was invited to a casual dinner with his boss. Now he's got three outfits at home that all need him to get better acquainted with his washing machine. He'll stop thinking of them as Kame clothes soon, too; they're just useful to have.

"Do you know what you want to eat?" Kame asks once Jin has followed the invitation to sit on the couch, dumping his bag somewhere it's not in the way. It's heavier than usual; this time he's better prepared. "I waited with ordering. But I skipped lunch…" He makes an apologetic face.

"You shouldn't do that," Jin says, nervous despite himself. "I'd rather not count your ribs."

Kame laughs. "No worries, last time I had the full set. My fat reserves are seeing me through."

Yeah, Kame's mountains of fat.

Jin knows Kame's selection of restaurants and also knows Kame won't let him see the menus, because those have prices on them.

"What do you want to eat?" he asks.

"It's really all the same to me. Pick what you like."

Jin gives him another careful look, but Kame is just relaxed. "Okay. Italian then. That pasta selection, that was good."

"Same shop, different selection?" Kame unfolds the little brochure and picks his phone off the coffee table. "Or did you want the exact same things?"

"Hmm," Jin says. "Spaghetti? With a hot sauce?"

Kame's eyebrows seem to have an opinion on that. "They have very nice spinach and gorgonzola ravioloni. And Cajun Prawn linguine."

"I like spaghetti with sauce," Jin says. He pats the leather sofa. "I promise not to get it all over your furniture."

"That's not what—" Kame breaks off, and smiles. Of course it's not what he meant, he knows Jin knows that. "Okay, but is there anything else you want?"

In the end they settle on getting the ravioloni, too, because Jin doesn't know what gorgonzola tastes like, and a couple of slices of sandcrab lasagna with roast almonds and parmesan.

"And some bruschetta for starters," Kame finishes off the order on the telephone, and Jin catches himself thinking that that's really a lot, and a big waste if half of it is for the bin or the cat, until he remembers that Kame freezes things.

"So," Kame says, looking busy even empty-handed and sitting down. It's cute, and Jin knows eventually he'll unwind. "How about drinks?"

Jin leans back as much as he can without slumping. He's been looking forward to this all week.

*~*~*

Kame's stomach grumbles now and then, and Jin tries not to laugh every time. They catch up first over a beer and then after the distribution of dishes, and some more after Kame has polished off half his first serving within two minutes. Then things slow down again.

"So this is your more normal sort of schedule?" Jin says. "No lunch, changing hours…"

"More or less, yes. But sometimes I get off early too."

Jin knows he means last time, their unexpected date at the club. "The thing with the phone was a really good idea," he says. "I'm glad we got to see each other."

"Me too," Kame says, with a fervour that makes Jin wonder, but he doesn't know how to ask.

"How was your Christmas?" he says. He hadn't wanted to ask about plans beforehand, it would have sounded weird. And maybe misleading.

Kame pokes his fork into a piece of lasagna and shrugs. "It was… nice. We went to a restaurant, and then we went to a party. Midori has nice friends. So it was…" He licks his lips as he lifts the fork to his mouth. "…nice."

And then he's chewing on his lasagna rather harder than oven-baked pasta usually warrants.

Nice, then. All right. Jin's not going to ask any more about that.

"How about you?" Kame says as soon as he's swallowed.

"I don't really do Christmas." Jin's prepared the answer, and the smile to go with it. "Just work, the usual."

Kame pauses for a brief moment, and maybe Jin hasn't practiced well enough after all. But Kame doesn't push. He nods, several times, and the next thing he says is, "More spaghetti?"

Jin is happy to say yes to that.

"The club is closed on New Year's, isn't it?" Kame asks as he serves Jin more pasta.

"Yes." Jin hasn't thought much about it; doesn't really want to say much about it, either. Christmas turned out to be a big party, the famous Takki-san visiting with Tsubasa and strawberry cakes. Jin's not sad he missed it. "It wouldn't make much sense to open, pretty much everyone's with their families."

Kame nods. "We're going to see my parents, too. They worry about my ribs almost as much as you do."

Well, good for him. Jin nods, and eats.

When Kame says "You…" he feels himself freezing up because this, he hasn't prepared, and he doesn't want to do that thing he did when Kame asked after Naoki, that was dumb.

He gulps his pasta down and shakes his head and doesn't look up, and Kame says no more. And finally Jin's brain kicks back in, and he asks, "Do you have any brothers and sisters? How many of you will there be?"

Kame is quick. Doesn't ask, doesn't wait, just launches into an account of how he's a single child who always wanted a younger sister to tease, and when he was six he thought he'd want to meet her girl friends, and when he was ten he thought it would be great to ask her about how to get his hair to look cool. How his parents have this big dog called Ran-chan who is not bright but very sweet and inconveniently fond of tongue-bathing sleeping visitors.

And he doesn't ask about Jin and his siblings or his pets, just talks, and somehow Jin manages to have another helping of pasta and relax again, and then they're done and there's that lovely drink.

Jin takes his glass and feels like smiling. Nice to know they can handle these moments; that they're helping each other out.

*~*~*

"I like your hair," Jin says. They're putting the rest of the food into little boxes together before Kame takes custody of the apparently sole dish towel. "You look different when it's black like that."

"I hope that's a good thing," Kame says playfully, but then shrugs. "I was a bit uncertain. I've had it lighter for ages." He puts the large serving plate away and closes the cupboard. "I think it makes me look kind of severe. But, well, the job."

Jin leans against the kitchen counter. Kame's not wrong; the dark hair sharpens the angles of his face, makes his jaw seem stronger. But it's hard to find anything severe about Kame when he's polishing glasses and frowning at how best to stack his coffee mugs while making sure Jin's not doing any of the work.

"I think it makes you look a little older," Jin says. "But not in a bad way. It looks good. I like it."

Kame hesitates a moment and doesn't say the normal flippant things about the age comment. "Thank you."

"I'm glad they didn't make you shave your head, though."

Kame gives a short, giddy-sounding laugh. "So am I." His eyes scan Jin cautiously and Jin thinks it would be totally fine if Kame kissed him right now. Only of course he doesn't. "Have you ever messed around with hair colour?" he asks, folding the towel twice before he hangs it up.

Jin takes a moment to think. He's touchy on those issues, he knows that. But he just shakes his head. "I never felt daring with it, really." And getting it changed now would just be like giving up another part of himself. "I kind of like it dark." He smiles, and from the way Kame's looking at him, he likes it too.

"It looks good," Kame says. "And at least you never have to worry about your roots showing."

Jin shudders. "God, yeah. It's enough hassle as it is." Then he catches up with his words and bites his lip.

Kame is breaking into a grin. "I see."

"No, seriously!" Jin waves his hands. "I mean, I want it to look nice, really. So I do all the stuff with the blow dryer and the foam and then you have a day like this, and after five minutes outside I look like I just got up!" He runs his fingers through his hair and sure enough, they're all tangled already, and god knows how they'll be sticking up now. "It's just… it sucks. This weather sucks."

"It's a bad hair day, yeah." Kame nods understandingly, peering up at his fringe, which looks totally great.

"And I start freezing the moment I step out the door," Jin says, "even though I've got a nice coat now." He glares at the weather through Kame's wide balcony door.

"It kind of creeps in, yeah."

"Not that there'd be any point going out there because it's all dull and cloudy and miserable anyway." He sighs, and then looks at Kame, who's somewhere between amused and intrigued.

"Sorry," Kame says, though at least he doesn't sound as if he's really taking the blame for the weather. "We just have to find something nice to do inside."

Jin tilts his head, slowly enough that he can see the flush stealing into Kame's face again. "I'm certainly up for suggestions," he says.

"Good," Kame says, despite the nervousness in his hands when he tears open the foil on a dishwasher tab. "How do you feel about watching a movie?"

*~*~*

Kame lets him pick.

There's a stack of Japanese films; the top ten of this year, Kame says, and while Jin is looking at one about, apparently, three puppies, he wonders what people go to see in the cinema. Not that he has anything against puppies but maybe not while he's watching TV with Kame… There's also a stack of American ones and Jin recognizes the James Bond, and the pirate film he mentioned to Kame on their last date.

"I got various things, I wasn't sure what you'd like," Kame says.

Wait a minute. Jin blinks up from the blurb about an animated mermaid. "You bought all these?" It's all Blu-ray, too.

"Yes, I don't have a big selection around here," Kame says apologetically. "And I haven't got the hang of internet renting yet. This is kind of what looked good."

Right.

Jin doesn't want to count them, but he does; he doesn't want to add up what it must have cost, but he can't help it. And it's really nothing to what Kame pays for a date with him, but…

"You could just have called me and asked." Before he spent a hundred thousand on movies. Jin looks briefly at one about some cellist turned undertaker which sounds like a package deal of depressing and boring.

"It's no big deal, really," Kame says easily, and Jin doesn't know how… he doesn't know what to say. It's not like it's a crime to be stinking rich and have no idea what money is worth.

So he says nothing.

Beside him, Kame stops sorting through the boxes. "What is it?"

Jin hesitates. But… no. "Not my place to say." It sounds sulkier than he intended. Only that's it, too; that's exactly it.

"Don't be silly."

That makes him look up. Kame, who's so careful… and yeah, Kame looks like he's wishing he could take that back, and it looks kind of cute and Jin has to smile after all, and suddenly it's easier.

"It's just, you don't really think about it," Jin says. "How much money that is. And you don't have to, I mean, it's yours and all that, and you're probably good for the economy, but when I see that, I'm just… I just get nervous."

Kame is fingering the spines of the DVD sleeves. "I'm sorry about that… I guess I'm not used to thinking about it like that. It doesn't hurt me to spend money on… on these dates with you. I like doing it." He looks at Jin and Jin wishes guilt weren't just so readily available that it filled in randomly for any confused moment.

"I really like our dates," he says quickly. "And I like… the stuff you plan. Watching movies is a great idea." But Kame's not believing him; Kame thinks he's being a polite whore, backpedaling. "And you're right, and it's really not your problem and I shouldn't have said anything."

Kame is holding himself very still, like he knows he did something wrong and doesn't know what, and he'll spend the next few hours thinking he did something to Jin and… that's really not fair.

"I didn't have a lot of money before this gig," Jin says in a single, even breath. "That's all. It's weird for me but I'm not normal." He tries a smile when Kame is still staring. "Let's just have a good night, okay? I've been looking forward to this all week." He stops himself from fidgeting. He hadn't meant to put it this bluntly, not when it's the truth.

But it was worth it, because Kame is no longer looking like he's one of those three puppies and Jin abandoned him by the roadside. "You have?"

Jin nods tightly. He won't say it again.

"I really looked forward to seeing you too," Kame says. "I… maybe I went a bit overboard…"

"No." For Jin, the topic is dead. It's his own problem, and no reason why he should make it Kame's. "Thank you for getting such a selection. There's probably enough there for several evenings."

Kame's smile is real now, and like they found the perfect solution together. "That's entirely possible."

"So… for now…" Jin glances through the line-up again very quickly. "How do you feel about aliens?"

*~*~*

Will Smith is cool.

Jin tries not to shield his eyes when the aliens attack the American cities and there is a lot of horrible burning and people dying. He wonders if they could talk over those bits and Kame wouldn't notice, but then the worst of it is past and it gets less tense as a lot of people reunite with each other in a desert somewhere. Even the dog has survived.

He sneaks a look at Kame, who seems to agree about Will Smith, and who's moved back to beer for the movie just like Jin. He's put out snacks; pickles and the white chocolates from that other time and wasabi peas. Jin can't have too much of it, he doesn't want to feel bloated when they go to bed, but now and then he succumbs to the seaweed crackers. And pickles have hardly any calories, anyway.

That alien is super-creepy, though.

"What would have happened if they'd blown up the Palace?" he asks. "Or the Diet building?"

"Hmm, I don't know," Kame says. "I guess there'd be a big panic, too." He's frowning. "I don't know who'd actually be in charge."

"Godzilla," Jin suggests.

Kame bursts out laughing, a surprised happy sound over the gloomy music. While he's recovering Jin has some of the wasabi peas after all and ignores the military guys and their scary plans for a moment. "Seriously, though, you'd think at least Tokyo would have practice."

"Yeah, years of giant monsters ransacking the city."

"There was probably a whole second movie about Tokyo going on."

"The new Godzilla-SDF alliance."

Jin tries not to snort out beer; it's unbecoming when you're supposed to be a pretty escort. But this is cool, hanging out like any two guys, watching movies. Guy movies, even. With things blowing up.

"Do you like action movies?" he asks.

"Hmm," Kame says again. He's angling for the peas too. "I think it really depends on my mood. It can be fun when there's lots going on to hold your attention."

Jin kind of likes the heroic stuff. He's not so keen on the slaughter. But he's still not saying that. "I like the effects, they're pretty cool."

"It must be interesting to act in something like that," Kame muses. When Jin tilts his head, he explains, "I've never done CGI or greenscreen. It must be weird to act when there's nothing really there yet. But I'd like to try it."

"Yeah, that sounds weird. But I'm sure you'd be good at it," Jin says; and then it strikes him that this sounds straight from the busy escort's guide to flirting, only he actually means it. Thankfully Kame can tell.

"Maybe one day I'll get a chance to find out," he says.

They probably used a lot of greenscreen for those aliens, too, and now the movie is picking up again, enough so that that lady dying doesn't become too much of a downer.

They both go for the rice crackers at the same time, and just grin at each other.

On the screen, Will Smith is getting married to the stripper.

*~*~*

It ends with people cheering all over the world. Jin approves of that sort of ending. Much better than films about undertakers, he's sure. Kame brings him another beer, then settles comfortably in the corner.

"Good choice," he says.

Jin raises his beer. "Likewise."

"Though the Americans must have much cooler politicians than we do."

Jin tries not to imagine Tsukada fitting himself into a fighter jet, but fails, and his giggles must give him away because Kame starts laughing too.

"Do you keep any of your own movies around?" Jin asks. "Or dramas? Do you ever watch them again?"

"I get copies, of course," Kame says. "But I don't really enjoy watching myself, it's too stressful."

"Constant nitpicking?"

Kame squirms. "How did you guess?"

"I wonder," Jin says. He takes a thoughtful sip, studying Kame's profile. "So if somebody asked you which of your movies and dramas you'd recommend, you wouldn't actually know?"

Kame fixes him with a long, suspicious sideways look. He keeps it up until Jin has to laugh.

"I'd thank that person to avoid the one with the do-gooder schoolboy, or the yakuza schoolboy, or the schoolboy who was a ghost," he says, and Jin grins.

"So the ones with the med student or the prosecutor or that geeky office guy or the construction guy or the trapeze artist or—"

"Oh god," Kame says faintly.

Jin's looked at some DVD covers. He quite fancies the construction guy. Kame was about his age then and looked much more raw in it, like somebody Jin could have been friends with, someone from his neighbourhood. The prosecutor is polished and pretty, and somebody you'd like to have on your side. Kame looked pretty much like he does now then, only his hair was hazel.

He really likes the black.

"So… would it be okay with you if I watched some of your things?" he asks. He doesn't want it to be weird.

Kame is playing with his beer bottle. "Sure." Kame's beer bottle is always a good indication of his comfort level, but he meets Jin's eyes. "Sure. Just remember I didn't write the scripts, okay?"

"Of course," Jin says easily. "And I'm really not nitpicky at all, I promise."

Kame slumps back with more crackers and his beer, and nods with more confidence. His shirt has gone crumpled, and his hair is starting to lose shape with the lounging on the couch. He looks almost like a normal guy; not a construction guy, but someone who works at an office, someone you'd meet at random if you're lucky.

He'd still have all the secretaries pining for him, though.

Jin wants to brush the hair out of his face and know if it feels different now, too.

"What?" Kame asks.

Jin makes an innocent face. "I'm just checking you out."

"I se— what?"

Kame stares as if Jin just suggested they should do it on the coffee table. Funny guy. Jin tilts his head and waits, and eventually Kame is smiling, too. Better.

"Hey," Jin says after a bit of quiet contemplation. "Can I touch your hair?"

At least Kame doesn't seem shocked this time. "Of course," he says, and shifts closer. Jin decides that even closer is even better.

Kame's hair doesn't feel any different when he runs his fingers up through it on one side and pushes a strand back. Still soft, light. They must give good treatment with those dye jobs.

"And?" Kame says, his voice low because they're not far apart now. "What's the verdict?"

"Nice," Jin says, letting the ends slip from his fingers. "And this touching stuff is good. We should do more of it."

Kame blinks up at him; Jin is kneeling next to him, taller, and when Kame doesn't object or distract, Jin puts his hand on Kame's hip, leans just a bit like… yeah.

His hands feel shy touching Jin back, sliding up to his hips and pulling him closer, and when Jin cards through Kame's hair more slowly there's a sigh, like something is coming loose inside him.

"No objection here," Kame says, right before Jin kisses him, and after that Kame gets very quick and efficient about getting his legs up on the couch and stretching out more, so they can lie properly against each other.

It's comfy, and easy. The night is running late but Kame's in no hurry at all, and he smiles up at Jin when Jin traces his muscles through the shirt fabric, as if they couldn't just get naked.

Jin plays with Kame's top button and then modestly leaves it closed, which makes them both laugh between more kisses.

And Kame's arms feel good around him; it's the first time they don't have to hold his weight off Jin, are just wrapping around him. He likes that Kame feels strong like this, when you don't always know it from looking at him.

Kame's hands in Jin's hair are as gentle as after, but he'll enjoy it more once he's done his job. Kame's breath speeds up as the kisses get deeper, and Jin can feel the tension all over, the first time Kame really tries for friction. Yes, he was right. It was time.

*~*~*

The setting Kame has made him for the shower is just right. Jin doesn't stay long now that Kame is getting eager, but he likes it anyway.

And when he's stepped out of the shower and dried off, he reaches for the bathrobe, and that's even nicer. Kame has bought it new for… guests, Jin wants to remind himself, but when he's honest he doesn't really think Kame's going to offer it to other escorts after Jin has worn it. It feels comfy, in any case, and is a beautiful deep red. Jin won't even need the sweatpants he brought.

Kame smiles when Jin comes out. He's still dressed, with a water bottle in hand.

"Thank you," Jin says, brushing down the front of the robe. "It's very comfortable."

"It suits you," Kame just says, and then, "I'll be right back. You just… you know. Help yourself to stuff."

Yeah, Jin knows how it works by now.

He takes the liberty of turning the lights a little lower while Kame is in the bathroom. Then he contemplates the bed, and takes off the bathrobe. They've been messing around for a while now; Kame might like not having to unpeel him first. Or be surprised. And Jin's comfortable, and ready for this.

He still feels a little funny sitting naked on the bed, just waiting, and he resists the urge to dangle his feet over the edge.

He even likes the sound of the pipes; it feels cozy and promising.

He thinks of Kame coming out and he thinks of what Kame likes. It's easy to get turned on with Kame, who's really good at stuff and pays attention, and who feels better than other clients. And Kame really likes making him feel good too.

Jin puts his hand on his dick and pulls a little. He doesn't have to, but suddenly he likes the idea that Kame is going to get that flustered, pleased look when he comes to the bed, that he'll know Jin's looking forward to getting close with him.

So he gets himself just a little hard, a little prettier, and he's leaning back comfortably when Kame comes out in his own bathrobe, the blue one with the red stripes.

"Hey," he says. "I liked my settings, by the way. Thank you for that."

"I'm glad." Kame's eyes travel over him; still with that nervous blink as if he's not allowed. Jin might feel self-conscious as the only one naked, if it weren't for that. If he didn't want Kame to stop doing that.

But at least he doesn't have to prompt undressing. Kame slips out of his bathrobe quickly and then he kneels on the bed. Jin gets a warm little jolt from Kame's muscles and the way he moves.

"Do you want to get under the covers?" he asks Jin, touching him at the waist, somewhere safe. "To, well, keep warm?"

Jin slides an arm around Kame and pulls. "I think I'm warm enough. But come see for yourself."

Kame laughs as Jin rolls him over, all the way on his back, and then Jin is covering Kame again and Kame doesn't seem to mind at all. It's different; Jin's never tried this. Maybe he shouldn't have waited for Kame to ask for different things; maybe it's good just to do them.

He kisses Kame slowly and with intent; feels strain and desire as he pushes against Kame's tongue, and hot breath between them but no move to switch them around, for Kame to take over like he always does.

When Jin breaks off he's grinning, and harder than he was, now that Kame's hands are pressing at the small of his back and holding him tight. "I think you owe me a rib count," he mumbles against Kame's lips.

Kame's giggles are shuddering against him. "I didn't think you'd come collect," he breathes.

"Just making sure," Jin says, squirming against Kame's erection.

Suddenly the pressure is gone from his back. Kame drops his arms over his head. "Okay then. Go ahead."

Jin tries to stop grinning as he runs a finger against the most prominent bone on Kame's chest. Then he leans down, follows with his mouth, and Kame twitches.

"That one seems to be in good shape," he finds.

"Meaty enough?" Kame enquires.

Jin props his chin up, but traces the next one too. "Hmmm. Acceptable. But the doctor recommends some more pasta."

"I guess that could be worse," Kame says, voice disappearing when Jin's mouth starts counting again, tracking the complete number before Kame is boneless and a little shivery.

"Approved," Jin says, but doesn't make the joke last, just dips his head again and flicks the tip of his tongue across Kame's nipple.

Kame draws in a sharp breath.

"You like that," Jin peers up, just to check.

Kame's fingers stroke the hair out of his face. His face is flushed, his eyes soft. "It… works for me."

"Good." Jin runs a teasing hand down Kame's side and Kame thrusts against him readily, less cautious now than when he's the one setting their pace. On the next move Jin puts his whole mouth against the nipple and sucks.

That's that settled, he thinks when Kame gasps; and it's fun when he gets him to do it more than once and turn almost twitchy under him.

"You feel really good," he says when he's discovered Kame likes having his neck kissed too. It's turning Jin on just to figure out this stuff and to have Kame wriggle against him, pressing their hips tight together whenever Jin finds a good spot.

"I can't complain either," Kame says, and his hands come back down, spread out sweaty on Jin's back. The next time Jin lifts his head Kame holds his eyes for a long smiling moment. "You feel great."

Jin drops his head, making Kame laugh when he kisses Kame's collarbone. It feels adventurous.

Kame's skin is hot now, all over, no distance between them. And Jin is moving on, because he likes Kame this careless, doesn't need him thinking again, and he feels good to Kame, Kame is melting under his mouth. And they can do other stuff.

He pays attention to the nipples on his way down, to Kame's rising chest, and he gets past the bellybutton where Kame is still smooth and hairless, pressing soft kisses on his way.

He can feel the exact moment when Kame catches on. It's like all the ease solidifying under him; Kame's whole body on alert.

Jin looks up. "You don't like it?" he asks, and he hopes he sounds calm enough to hide how nervous he is.

"No, that's not…" For a moment Kame tenses up like he's about to move away, but then he settles, with concentration. "I like it," he admits. "But we don't have to, it's not necessary."

That again. "But we can," Jin says, ignoring the silly part. He slips his hand down slowly enough that Kame can stop him if he really wants to, but Kame doesn't; just bites his lip when Jin wraps his hand around him.

Weird to think that this is the first time he really touches Kame's cock. Weird how much it suddenly seems to matter. He touches guys' cocks every day.

"I'm really… I'd like to do this," he says. It's the truth; he wouldn't lie now. And he knows what Kame's thinking and why his eyes are dark and troubled. But it's not the same.

He gives Kame a little stroke and Kame's hips jerk before he makes himself still; barely breathing. Then he brushes the hair out of Jin's eyes again, like he needs to know; urgently.

Not even close to the same.

Jin smiles, then bends his head and gives the tip a little lick, just enough to prove his point. When he looks up to see, Kame has closed his eyes.

"I think you're liking it," Jin says; Kame looks back at him instantly. At last he cracks a little smile.

"I just worry…" he says with barely a sound.

Jin nods. "I know. But it's different." He almost wants to get back up there, he thinks Kame could maybe do with him there. "It's not bad for me. Don't think that."

And at last Kame touches him again, light hands on his arms and a nervous trail of fingers. Good sign, Jin thinks, and holds Kame's eyes as much as he can before he gives him another lick; tries a bit of suction, and there's a breath and more heat now, Kame's cock thickening.

He takes a brief, considered pause; finds Kame's eyes. "Maybe you could just stop worrying for a bit." And he waits just enough, until he sees Kame get it and he feels the change, the worst of the tension unraveling.

He opens his mouth and goes down, all the way, and there's a little sound from Kame he hasn't heard before, all small and desperate.

It's exciting; Jin can't remember the last time he listened this hard, was so keen on the reactions.

The rest is what it is. He does it so often it doesn't matter anymore. Only Kame feels new like this and that matters, and when Kame makes a thin airless sound, Jin knows he wants more of that, to get it louder, he wants Kame to let go.

He tries around; has to because even though Kame is hard he's also thinking and being so, so careful. Those little twitches, quickly suppressed like he doesn't know that Jin can take much more, doesn't know Jin does this daily for people less nice and less sweet about it than him. Like it's new for both of them.

He thinks how easy it used to be to get Kame off with his mouth, he barely had to do anything. Didn't get to do anything.

Another gasp; and when Jin licks his cock in a long tease, Kame laughs and it doesn't sound strained. He feels Kame's thighs shiver sometimes, spread out and easy, and the flutters in his body, the warmth and the sweat and the way Kame's never trusted them both like this before, and Jin wants to get it right, he wants to give Kame a great blow job.

And he wants to play. Just a bit more, just for himself. See what Kame does when he slows down, way down, how he flushes when Jin tells him it's okay to look; watch just what gets Kame harder, his tongue flat up from the base or around the top… and then the stuff he finds out, like how Kame will shiver when Jin brushes the insides of his thighs while he plays with his tongue against the slit.

He never had time to do all that before.

"You're not getting bored?" Kame asks shakily when their eyes meet again. That's just typical – worries when he's taking it fast, worries when they're taking it slow. Jin doesn't sigh.

"Do I look like I'm bored?"

For a moment Kame seems to consider it a serious question; until Jin gives him a pained look and Kame smiles and says, "I don't know. It's kind of fuzzy from up here," and that makes it all right. Makes it great.

"Official report," Jin declares, which is a funny thing to do when you're lying between a guy's legs with his cock in your hand. "Not bored."

"I'll put it in the minutes," Kame says on a brave nod, and Jin is grinning even as he gets his head down and really starts to suck.

Slow, focussed, setting a rhythm. A flick across the top and then down again, coming up tight. Steady.

And holds that, pace and pressure and the ease of practice, and Kame moving with him, the jerks turning sharper as Jin gets more insistent. For a moment he worries if he should ask, if Kame wants this to go where it's going, and then there's a sigh, broken and loud and breathing out on his name.

They're good. They're doing this.

He picks it up, slick sounds blurring with Kame's breathing, and he can feel it, not much of this now, if only Kame would…

"Jin, I—" A gasp. "I'm really close, is it okay—"

He doesn't have to think; doesn't want to, just spreads his hands out on Kame's hips, so Kame knows there's room to move and room to go for it, and brings his tongue up hard on the next slide and Kame is shaking, forgetting caution at last, his thrusts high and unthinking and making Jin shiver, and then it's done.

Jin slows down at once, swallowing all and holding on to Kame's hips. He's panting too when he pulls off carefully, when he lifts his head to peer up at Kame.

Kame, all exhausted and trembling and still breathing fast. One of his hands reaches out randomly, fingers catching on Jin's hair. Jin moves up a bit more, sinks slowly down next to Kame so he's easier to find, and covers Kame's shrinking cock cautiously with his hand.

Kame's flailing arm wraps around him and pulls, pulls until Jin's face is up next to his and Jin leans in for the kiss Kame wants, deep and soft and sweet. When they come apart Kame is smiling, his limbs heavy and hazy as he pulls Jin to him all over, stroking through Jin's hair when Jin rests his head on Kame's chest. He can hear Kame's heart pulsing fast underneath. Smiling to himself, he holds still, feeling Kame's breaths warm and tickling, the heat of Kame's body.

At least all that stuff he knows is good for something.

He's gotten hard too. That's a new one. But so was Kame letting go like this, lying back without so many second thoughts.

He wonders if Kame can feel it; shifts just a little to avoid it becoming a distraction. Kame would just feel he has to deal with it, and Jin wants to stay like this longer.

He gets his wish; Kame's fingers grow drowsy in his hair as Kame's heartbeat slows, and finally Kame's hand settles at the back of his neck.

"Thank you," Kame says. "That was… I hope that was okay? It wasn't… I wasn't too—"

"It was fine," Jin says. "You were fine. I'm fine. Everything's good. Did you like it?"

A faint laugh on a breath. "I did. Thank you."

"Good," Jin says, and then they are quiet again for a bit. Kame's thumb is stroking little circles over his skin.

Jin can tell Kame's starting to think again when the circles become distracted, more erratic. He turns his head up; just to be helpful, he figures, just to make sure the thoughts are still the right kind, the good kind; and Kame's lips are soft and lazy again, and Jin feels a sharp little pull when their tongues meet.

Seems like Kame noticed, because there's a smile against his mouth now, and a soft nudge against Jin's side for him to roll on his back while the kiss deepens. Kame leans over him, his free hand brushing along Jin's chest.

"I think," Kame says in between two kisses, "it's your turn now." He looks like he's had an idea he's pleased with.

Jin can't help smiling back; he loves how easy Kame sounds about it, and that little pull goes deeper when Kame pushes his hips against Jin's, some playful pressure.

"Okay," he says. He doesn't want to say he already got what he likes the most, which has nothing to do with sex. This feels fine too.

Kame brings his mouth down on Jin's neck, hot and bold and god, effective; Kame knows what works and likes to work with that. And Kame makes him arch his back, with his tongue swirling around on wet skin and the hot steady thrusts against him, and that pressure on his dick is not a bad thing either.

"You feel amazing," Kame whispers, moving down slowly, mouth against Jin's throat. "I love the way you taste."

Jin keeps his hands on Kame's shoulders, keeps his eyes closed and his thoughts slow and fuzzy, until… Kame is licking across one of his nipples. And then there's a pause.

Jin opens his eyes, to the cutest look of concentration on Kame's face he's seen. "Sorry," he says. "They're kind of boring."

Kame looks up with his hand suddenly still.

"It's fine if you touch them," Jin explains, "they just don't really do much."

Kame makes a face of understanding. He eyes them curiously, dragging his fingertips around them in a ticklish light pattern, and Jin feels that, whether it's his nipples or not. "Not boring, though," Kame says. "They're really, um. Hot."

Jin breaks into a grin. "They like you too. They just don't know how to show it."

Kame blinks, then bursts out laughing, a cool tease where Jin's skin is wet. "Really," he says, and bends down for a friendly lick, which feels nice even though it's not a turn-on.

They get a little better acquainted, Kame and Jin's nipples, and once Kame tries some nibbling it's not boring at all.

And then tingling when Kame kisses down to his belly, two strong arms on each side of him and Kame's hair falling forward, Kame's hand sneaking along Jin's side and ass, and Jin props his feet up a little, tries not to strain when Kame's stomach slides against his cock.

Next it's Kame's chest, just for a brief moment before Kame props himself up higher and looks at him.

The focus makes his stomach flutter. Normally when they get to this, they're in the middle of things and Kame is turned on and hungry, and Jin doesn't feel so self-conscious. Now, with Kame so calm and clear, Jin wants to squirm, maybe, just a little bit.

Which is stupid, because it's still Kame, who gives him a slow grin and dives down with his head, and then his tongue is hot at the base of Jin's cock and coming up… up. Jin gasps.

Kame is waiting, with a small smile and darkened eyes. "I'd like to blow you, too. Is that okay?"

Jin blinks because all his blood just left his brain. "S—sure."

He's not even that keen, doesn't want it or need it like the guys he does it for. But the mental picture of Kame… like that…

Kame gives him a critical look, but if he was ever in any doubt that Jin meant it, how he must feel to Kame's hand wrapping around him should make it pretty damn obvious.

Jin exhales tightly, tries not to make an embarrassing noise, and then he has to press his lips tight together when Kame takes him inside, tries a first careful slide.

It's hard not to close his eyes, and maybe he should, maybe that would be polite. But he doesn't want to.

Then Kame comes up again, cool air and what's happening here conspiring, making Jin shiver. "Help me out, okay?" Kame says. Jin can't stop staring at his lips.

He nods stupidly. Wonders what he's supposed to do.

"No, not like that." Kame strokes him a bit and that's so familiar, and this isn't, and it's all getting messy in Jin's head. "Just, let me know, if there's something I should do. Or do differently. It's been a while."

A while. Jin doesn't want to think about it, doesn't want to wonder and misread, but just from the way Kame is smiling quietly and being uncertain Jin knows this isn't about six months ago with Tatsuya.

God.

And then he has to think about what you do and expect when you're not— when you don't do this for three different people every day; and he's touching Kame's dark hair, teasing at his fringe because he liked it a lot when Kame did that.

"Do you want—" Jin licks his lips, they're that dry. "Should I warn you? You know, when—"

Kame is shaking his head. "No." His smile looks very confident. "Don't."

"Okay," Jin says.

"Okay, so…" Still holding Jin's eyes, Kame wets his lips, too. But differently. Jin just stares.

And then Kame's head goes down and it's the heat again.

It's like all the air goes from Jin's body, a silent rush of blood pressing him tight and flat, and it's looking that does it; seeing Kame between his legs with his mouth stretched and wet, when he's never done this and he wants Jin to come like this and it's for Jin, and Jin has no idea, none, how long he can last.

He can't tell if it's good or skilled or anything complicated, he's just looking and feeling, and biting his lip and he feels sweaty and hot even before Kame shifts and his fingers are sliding… somewhere, back, down, and Jin makes a sharp short noise after all when they get where Kame's going to push them inside.

Kame is hesitating.

No, don't— Jin doesn't think, just does… something, spreads more and moves into the touch and manages, "yes," which could been "please," and Kame gets it, does it, and now he's held between this and that and there's no way he can still look, it's over, there's nothing but the heat and the stretch and the soft noises Kame makes, and then it's all white, and surging, and splinters.

His mind is blank. Only slowing touches coming through, helpless twitches that break his body into pieces, and Kame easing him down. One breath at a time.

He opens his eyes, and he's not even falling. He's just here.

Kame is stroking his hip like he's not sure yet what to do with his hand. He's smiling rather happily.

"Hey," he says.

"Hi." Jin feels groggy and like he never wants to move again, only he reaches for Kame anyway. The way Kame leans into his hand is good motivation. "Are you coming up here?"

"That was the plan," Kame says and pushes into action. "Was just enjoying the view." He leaves kisses again on his way up. Jin thinks he's a bit self-conscious.

"That felt really great," he says when Kame is close enough that he can whisper. It feels so weird, to say this and mean it, that he almost thinks he maybe shouldn't have.

But Kame just says, "I'm glad," pressing his lips soft and warm to the side of Jin's mouth, like he's uncertain… Jin turns his head, his hands in Kame's hair before he's even thinking; opens up for Kame's tongue. He wants it, too.

When they break off again, he can feel Kame smile. "Were you okay?" Jin asks quietly, his mouth still tingling a little. "It was a bit… fast."

"It was great," Kame says, his face buried in Jin's neck. "I had fun too." Warm whispers, just under his ear, and Jin slides his hands up Kame's back. "I liked it. I like the way you taste."

Jin keeps on stroking, and Kame lets his head sink on Jin's shoulder; one small part of him steadied while the rest is still finding itself together. It's unfamiliar, not like when he curls up against Kame and Kame does all the holding. Maybe he should do more with it, feel more in charge.

But it's okay; he can just hold on and try to keep Kame warm. It's fine.

And it's not long, anyway, before Kame props himself up again, looking almost intimidatingly lively.

"Would you like something?" he asks. "Another drink? Or water? Or… shower?"

For the first time, it occurs to Jin to wonder what's going to happen next. Normally Kame finishes last, and then they go to sleep. Now… Kame might just be ready for action again. He's certainly looking awake enough. And… if he makes his thoughts go there he knows that before, twice a night was no problem for Kame at all.

But that's over, and Jin can just ask.

"What would you like," he says, looking up at Kame who is circling his bellybutton with his finger. "I mean, normally…"

Kame doesn't look like he's getting it. And maybe that makes sense, they usually do it differently and this is all out of order.

So what the hell. "You can still fuck me," Jin says, in the easiest voice he has for that, "if you like. Or I can shower first and then…"

The circling stops; he's got Kame's full attention. "You want to?"

Okay, that's… maybe Jin should have thought before he opened his mouth. Or maybe waited. Or something. "I didn't—" he starts but that sounds bad. "If I…" Another wrong start.

"Not really, huh?" Kame says, but he's looking unsurprised and not at all annoyed.

"No, that's not what I mean," Jin says. Now he's thinking, and he finds the smarts to make his hands move again, hold on to Kame so Kame can't retreat. And he tries to look sure, because he is sure, only he's never said this to clients, even ones without a guilt reflex. It feels risky. "I just mean, for me… it's great to have fun once. Twice is… not so much fun. But it can be great for me, even when I don't… you know. When there's no pressure." God. This sort of thing isn't easier when your brain's numb from your last orgasm. "I like it when… I mean, you like doing me. And I like it too." He's sure he's bright red but at least Kame doesn't seem confused, and for once not full of self-reproach; just thoughtful.

His hands are moving vaguely on Jin's chest; he catches himself just before the collarbone. "I get that," he says. "With… twice. And not fun. It… yeah."

Because Jin just reminded him; what his job is, what they're really doing here. He wishes he hadn't.

He wriggles a bit; not to be sexy, just to get them moving together, to wake them up from all the thinking.

Kame is biting his lip, and there's a little smile there. Jin is glad; glad he didn't spoil the mood too much. "Thank you for telling me," Kame says. "I like that you're honest with me." He leans down for a kiss, and then hides his face against Jin's shoulder again. "I really like that."

Jin closes his eyes, to light warm lips on his skin. So cozy. "Okay," he says. And it is… if Kame prefers the real thing over some act, that's more than okay, that's perfect. He wriggles again. "So, I swear. Totally honest. You want to… even when I don't come it'll feel good for me."

But Kame is shaking his head. "It's really okay. And I like it when… with the both of us together. And I don't need more." He peers up at Jin with slightly raised eyebrows. "Also totally honest now."

Jin gets stuck on that stupid need thing again for a moment before Kame's expression really registers. Which is a bit challenging and kind of adorable. He pokes Kame in both sides, but very gently. "Are you telling me to shut up?"

Kame nudges him back. "More like… subtly suggesting…"

It makes them both laugh, and Jin rolls Kame over without thinking when Kame starts tickling his sides, too.

"Hey there," he says when they slow down again and he's got Kame truly pinned.

"Hi." Kame is hooking his feet over Jin's legs, maybe in retaliation. He looks giggly and relaxed and like he's really fucked enough for the night. "You make a nice blanket."

Blanket. There's an idea. Jin tries to reach for it, which leads to some funny maneuvers when Kame refuses to let him up, but in the end he's victorious. He drapes it over them both before he curls up in his spot along Kame's side, and Kame's fingers are in his hair again on their soothing little trails.

They don't have to do more. Jin gets it, what Kame means and what he's looking for, it all fits together. The care to keep things balanced, the concern that both of them should enjoy equally, or do nothing. He'd be a great lover with someone real.

"Do you still want to take a shower?" Kame asks into the quiet. "Or a drink?"

He doesn't need a shower, not with what they've done… He lets his fingertips traipse over Kame's chest, and thinks. "You know what," he says then, in the spirit of honesty. "You could feed me some more of that pasta. I'm kind of hungry."

~

Chapter 34

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