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The Same Deep Water As You

by Solo & Jo

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Chapter 8


Tuesday 23 September

"I'm afraid the case has never been closed," Kato says, and Jin feels his pulse speed up – they're really going to talk about this.

Kato has brought them to a quiet corner near the dining tables, laughter and talk and clinking glasses dulled just a little behind one of the tall plants which provides a feeble illusion of privacy. His face is creased with a little frown, and he watches Jin cautiously through his frameless glasses as if he expects him to be disappointed. "There's never been an arrest, so if you were hoping…"

Jin shakes his head quickly. "No, I just…" He doesn't want Kato to think he's looking for someone to blame. He's grateful the man took his request seriously at all, even came to get him when Jin was with… other people, they don't matter just now. "I didn't know anything. I'd just like to know what happened, please."

Kato nods. "Your friend— Shibutani was found dead just after midnight that day near the back entrance of Shinjuku-goenmae station with multiple stab wounds to the chest and abdomen," he tells Jin, calmly and smoothly as if he's reading stats off a card, but he isn't, there's no card, there's just a blurred old pain and an image, because Jin knows the place he means, they sometimes waited around there for johns together and it wasn't a weird place for Subaru to be.

Kato's voice drops some more, sounds different. "But you knew that part, I suppose."

He needs a moment, just a moment. Kato follows a waiter with his eyes without attracting his attention then looks somewhere else altogether.

"I didn't know he was stabbed." There are so many ways to be reckless, so many ways of getting screwed over on the street, and he'd wondered if there'd been other stuff besides the E, stuff that he hadn't noticed. "I didn't even know that." It's a weird, aching sort of relief, just to know.

"The police found no money on him. They assume he was killed for his earnings."

Over ten thousand on a good day, Jin thinks, blurry and dulled. Now he makes this much if he sits with a guy for an hour and picks the right drinks.

"No signs of sexual assault, though there were…" Now Kato looks a bit like he'd quite like there to be a card he can turn to, and Jin lowers his eyes, doesn't want to make him uncomfortable. "They tracked down the last two clients he had, based on witness statements, and they were cleared." He meets Jin's eyes and maybe he sees the doubt, or maybe he was doubtful himself. "Really cleared. Witnesses saw them leave."

"I see," Jin says. It wouldn't make a difference either. It's just facts, finally.

"The coroner found traces of MDMA in his blood," Kato goes on, "though he must have taken it a few hours before his death. His blood alcohol level was point zero six."

"That's… that's not too bad, right?"

Kato looks at him for a moment, and seems to shift gears. "He was a little drunk, but not out of it," he says. "Especially for someone who's used to a certain alcohol intake, it wasn't too bad, no."

"Okay," Jin says. "Okay, that's…" Not good, really, not bad, not anything anymore but it still matters, Subaru was not just stupid. "…okay."

"The report mentioned a roommate," Kato says, a calm question at the end, if Jin wants to answer it.

Jin thinks that's fair, of course the man would wonder, and it's not meant as a threat. "Yes, that was me." And he'd left the apartment behind with less than he'd had moving into it. "I got home and I saw the cops and I didn't know… I just took off."

Kato simply nods. "You weren't a suspect," he tells Jin, matter-of-fact. "Or not anymore, after the first few days. They wanted to ask you a few questions. But I understand." He doesn't mention drugs, and maybe there weren't any that day, maybe Subaru had run out, but it wasn't a risk Jin could take.

And he'd tried, found out enough to know that Subaru was dead, not arrested or… or just gone like… Naoki had at least left a note. But there hadn't been many people he could talk to with cops showing up randomly at their hangouts and at the youth center…

"I don't think I know anything that might help," he says, "but if you think the police would still like to talk to me…"

Kato looks a little uncomfortable. "I'm afraid the case is no longer being treated as a priority," he says, which probably means that he had to dig the file out of some dusty archive where they keep all the dead hustlers and other nobodies. "If there's no vital new evidence…"

Jin shakes his head, and Kato gives a regretful little shrug.

"Thank you," Jin says quickly, before the man can decide to feel guilty or anything. "Thank you, that's… I'm glad I finally know what happened. I really appreciate it." He bows low, and again when Kato says that he was glad he could help and Jin insists that it was very generous of him.

"If there's ever—" He wants to say… but what can someone like him offer that would be appropriate, and so he just bows again, and finally Kato tells him it's quite all right, and Jin lets the man get back to his table.

Jin stares at something on the floor in front of him, something that isn't there. He's glad he knows. He is; and he hopes it was at least quick. Subaru was a good guy, and Jin's not sure he'd have survived that winter if Subaru hadn't taken him in. And now he's here, and Subaru…

But he has to stop thinking about Subaru, it'll have to wait. Because now he's got to handle Kamenashi again. Maybe he should just crawl into Yamatani's lap Yuuya-style so he'll finally make a move and get Jin out of there and to a room, but that's not how they work and he doesn't want to embarrass Yamatani, either.

Right. At least he's not going to have another drop of alcohol, and if Kamenashi wants to flip his lid, he's welcome.

He turns towards their table and—

—meets Kamenashi's eyes, and he's not even surprised but his heart skips anyway.

Kamenashi smiles winsomely.


Jin starts walking.

Nishikido and Yuu-chan are absorbed in their own little world, gazing at each other over the cocktails they're toasting with, and Yamatani is watching them with a pleased little smile, doesn't notice Jin either.

Jin decides to nudge him when he's back, some discreet body language to get them to a room and away from here. Yamatani would give him space, would give him five minutes if he asked just to… think, away from the chatter and the clients and the glitz, and maybe he'd ask Jin what's up and maybe, maybe Jin would even tell him, just a bit about the time when he'd been grateful just to know that there was somebody who cared if he even made it home alive. Until one day that person… didn't.

He could do with some talking, just talking, just a tiny little bit.

When he gets close, Kamenashi gets up, his smile expansive and welcoming, and he steps into the gap between couch and table that Jin would need to pass to get to his old seat, and says, "Glad you haven't abandoned us, Jin, why don't you sit down?"

His hands are surprisingly strong, and unless Jin wants to make a scene he has no choice but to sit down on the other end of Kamenashi's two-seater, far from Yamatani.

Nishikido welcomes him back, and Yuuya gives him a quick grin, his fingers entwined with the baker's between them both. That's a done deal if Jin's ever seen one, and he's glad for Yuu-chan, Nishikido's a nice guy and Yuu-chan could do much, much—

"I'm sorry," Kamenashi says, a light shift in the upholstery when he sits down next to Jin, "where were we?"

So much worse.

He should have just left. He blew some bland suit before Kamenashi dragged him off and two relaxations is okay, is good for a Tuesday and the only reason he's here is because he didn't want to let Yamatani down but Yamatani…

"You were telling us about shooting in two different languages," Nishikido is saying, sounding eager, and then he adds brightly, "Oh, let me this time!"

Jin doesn't even get it at first, but when he sneaks a glance beside him he figures Kamenashi must have been fondling his empty glass, and then Nishikido is looking at him, nice guy that he is, and asks, "Can I get you something, too, Jin?"

He won't turn that down. But he doesn't want any more booze, he can still feel those fast drinks oh so considerately supplied by Kamenashi and he needs his wits about him if he's still got to deal with… that. "Thank you very much, Nishikido-san. I'd like some orange juice, please."

"You could try one of mine!" Yuuya says immediately, twirling his empty cocktail glass around and nodding encouragingly. He plucks the last pink cherry off the rim before he hands the glass over to the waiter and slips it into his mouth.

Nishikido tears his eyes away and turns his smile on Jin. "Yes, sure! Try it if you want to."

They do look interesting. Maybe it'll distract him for a bit, not like he can't use it. "Thank you very much," he says again. "I'll have one of those green things, then. With the sugar."

Then he freezes, with Kamenashi's hand on his shoulder. "Is everything all right, Jin?" And he has to turn, has to look at the guy, he's not going to embarrass anyone. "I hope nothing bad happened." And the soft, concerned tone is just creepy, that mannered nod towards where he and Kato-sensei were talking and he's not going to be scared of that look in Kamenashi's eyes, he's not, not in the middle of the damn lounge.

"I'm fine, thank you," he says, and manages not to shake off that touch. "I didn't mean to interrupt. You were telling a story about filming?"

"I was," Kamenashi says, sharp focus and unreadable meaning fixing Jin a moment longer, but then he goes back to his story and Jin takes a breath.

Apparently Kamenashi did some film in France, and loved it very much, and was worried about foreign language dialog, and didn't love that so much, and Jin doesn't care at all but Kamenashi talking is Kamenashi distracted, and the hand never disappears and doesn't move either, and maybe someone should encourage him to learn French and move there, that would be a help.

Their new round arrives; it's taken a bit longer with the cocktail, and when they all thank Nishikido and Kamenashi's fingers start to wander on his back, Jin catches Yamatani's eyes over his new glass of wine, his kind smile, and he's never been so focussed on the way Yamatani looks at him when he lowers his eyes along Jin's body. He catches himself calculating how much Yamatani has had and if there's even a chance; normally they'd be out of here already and he wouldn't have to sit here with some freak hovering next to him, inching closer moment by moment.

He leans forward, concentrates on the straw sticking out of the tall glass. One thing's for sure, he's not going to be doing anything interesting with the slices of fruit decoration.

The green stuff tastes… not really green. But interesting. Sort of creamy, and sharp at the same time. Jin wishes there was a miracle potion to clear his head.

And they're back on the film again, and Nishikido seems to be a fan of that French actress Kamenashi worked with, or maybe just that particular film, confessing that he really enjoyed their on-screen chemistry, and Jin can only pity the poor lady.

"She's wonderful," Kamenashi is saying, the heel of his hand pressing briefly against Jin's shoulder blade, but even when he holds his breath and waits he can't figure out what that meant. He finds Yamatani's eyes again, and it's some comfort to see him watching still even though he shows no sign of begrudging Kamenashi having his hands all over Jin, but that would be because he's sane. Jin takes another sip of his drink and keeps the straw between his lips, tries to… god, it's not his thing, how does that even work? Maybe he should take lessons from Yuuya.

"We had so much fun together," Kamenashi is saying, and it's no wonder he stars in all those uplifting films that tell you to try harder for the poor whatevers because he can sell the sincerity, no doubt. "It was the most relaxed set I've ever worked on."

"She came to Japan then, too, for that half of the film?" Nishikido asks, and Jin starts when the hand disappears but Kamenashi, leaning forward a little, just needs it to gesture denial at Nishikido.

"Yes, she did, but the best parts were…" He's smiling. It looks reluctant and slow, almost real. "It was much better when we were there." He looks down at his wine glass, and then back up at Nishikido with an expression Jin can't read.

"Why was that?" Yuuya asks curiously, and Jin can see Nishikido is just dying to know, too. Not Jin's idea of a clever move, prodding Kamenashi, but apparently Kamenashi's crazy is selective.

"Oh, it was just…" Kamenashi waves it off. "Everyone got on so well." And then there's a smile again, a small one, and Jin guesses there's a reason Kamenashi makes a fortune acting and why people like… well, fair enough, Kamenashi doesn't tie them down or treat them like more or less useful body parts… though maybe he should warn Yuu-chan.

"…this one day," Kamenashi is saying, "when the catering service just didn't appear but one of the camera crew had this cousin who runs a bakery and they just sent us some fresh bread and cheese, and Zoe smuggled in some wine in a coffee flask, and we had to made sure to hide it from the director…"

"You were sneaking around with alcohol!" Yuuya says, joyfully scandalized.

"In lidded paper cups," Kamenashi nods. "That was an excellent meal. So simple but…" His eyes flash up, which would normally make Jin worry but for once it's not directed at him. "Nishikido-san!"

Nishikido is already grinning. "We're thinking about it!"

"You'll have to warn people it's not sweet," Kamenashi says. "You should have seen my face when I had my first bite." They all laugh and Jin guesses he's re-enacting it but he's stopped looking, he has more important things on his mind and maybe if he can just get Yamatani's attention while Kamenashi is busy charming people, he'll finish the night in a room with someone who doesn't need to insult people to get off.

Just as he's getting ready to catch the man's eye, though, Yamatani says, "I had a French friend whom I visited occasionally. We met at a Word Trade Fair for, well, laundry equipment, back in the seventies in England, and spent the main conference dinner complaining about the food." He shakes his head in awed reminiscence. "It was really quite, quite terrible. But I felt he had no grounds for complaint because after all, these people eat snails, to which he retorted that I couldn't talk because after all, my people eat raw fish."

"What's their problem with raw fish?" Jin asks, mostly to remind Yamatani he's there. But Danny seems to find sashimi normal.

Yamatani gives him a fatherly smile. "Back then, Westerners were very conservative in their eating habits. So I proceeded to shock him with accounts of prawn feet and eel spine tempura. He wouldn't believe me that people would eat such things or, if they did, admit to it."

"But he ate snails?" Yuuya says, with a face that mirrors Jin's sentiments exactly.

"They aren't so bad," Yamatani says. "Kamenashi-san, did you try them when you had an opportunity?"

"I had one," Kamenashi says politely. "I didn't like the texture. But I tried frog legs, too. They were okay."

"Like chicken wings, but less rewarding," Nishikido adds.

"What happens to the rest of the frog?" asks Yuuya. "Is there frog breast? Frog steaks?"

Nishikido laughs and ruffles his hair, and when he trails his hand down Yuuya's back Yuuya wriggles down into a happy embrace.

"It is an unsolved mystery," Yamatani says, and winks at Jin.

Winking is good. Jin smiles, puts some suggestion into it, a hint of hope. It's going on ten, and Yamatani doesn't often stay beyond eleven. Jin's good to go, if only—

Kamenashi's hand settles heavily on his thigh, and when he looks, Kamenashi has dropped the blatant good humour, is regarding him intently. "Wouldn't you say so, Jin."

Jin's not even going to try to fake his way out of there. "I'm sorry, I missed that."

There's a stillness in Kamenashi's gaze which he doesn't like at all, but in the end the man only says, "If you are getting tired, I shall be happy to buy you some espresso. After all," and here he lets his gaze travel across to where Nishikido and Yuuya are entwined, and his fingers move just a little up the inside of Jin's leg, "the night is only beginning."

That sounds bad, feels bad, in so many ways, and why isn't Yamatani making a move already? Does he really want to talk about snails and frog steak all night? And what the hell does Kamenashi even want, he's had his moment of feeling all superior, he got his rocks off, he doesn't even want Jin… unless that was an act, with Ootomo, just like that happy clappy France act earlier, and the way he acts with Tatsuya, maybe this guy is nothing but acts and they're all different and Jin's the unlucky bastard who got stuck with the full-on psycho number.

And Nishikido is standing and he's holding Yuu-chan's hand, pulling him up and towards him with a smile. "…don't you think," he is saying, and Yuuya nods eagerly. "And at midnight you can have a sip of champagne from my glass, and we won't tell anybody."

Yuuya looks like this is the most dangerous and exciting venture ever and slinks closer to Nishikido.

Good, Jin thinks, good for him, Nishikido will treat him right, and then he thinks shit, because that leaves him with… and… he doesn't know how to handle this, with Yamatani being no help.

"We'll keep your secret," Kamenashi says, pulling Jin's thigh closer towards him and damn.

They nod happily, and while Nishikido excuses himself with a slightly embarrassed grin, Yuuya gives a little wave and throws Jin an encouraging look as he turns away.

And then there's just the three of them, and Jin seeks Yamatani's gaze, tries to ignore Kamenashi and the way the guy's fingers are crawling up his inseam, this can't just… happen.

Nishikido and Yuuya are approaching the screens in front of the elevators, happily hand in hand, Yuu-chan looking up to Nishikido and saying something or other and Nishikido looking down and smiling.

"That appealed to you, did it," Kamenashi's voice cuts into his thoughts, and he can tell by the edge that the man knows what he was thinking, knows that he'd rather be in Yuuya's shoes than stuck here on a couch being groped by this… by a… by Kamenashi.

He shoots Yamatani a look, tries to look inviting, tries to look a little hurt that they aren't naked in a room already, but maybe he should go to the Kamenashi school of acting because he doesn't seem to be getting the point across.

"That's no problem," Kamenashi says, while his voice says 'whore, you have a problem here'. "We can make your midnight sip anything you like."

Yamatani. There's got to be a way to get him to say something, to point out, politely, ever so politely, that he's got dibs on Jin, Tuesdays are… well, it's never official because Yamatani is around so much, it doesn't really matter to him if they shift it by a day either way, and normally Jin likes that about him but right now… can't he be a bit more desperate?

Yamatani smiles. It's a 'good for you' smile, a 'pleased for Jin' smile, a smile that makes Jin give up hope before Yamatani even opens his mouth.

"You young men have fun," he says, and Jin knows what it is, it's that Kamenashi looks like a client Jin might prefer, and he's just made it clear that he's offering a comfort, and Yamatani is old and wrinkly and has bad knees and all he's offering tonight is a relaxation, and he has no idea that Jin would gladly take that, he likes Yamatani and he'd take somebody he doesn't like over Kamenashi, but… "We can make it tomorrow, maybe?" Yamatani says to Jin, and Jin nods mutely. Produces a smile. Finds his voice.

"That would be good," he says over the screaming in his head. And Yamatani is smiling back at him so he dredges up some other words from somewhere. "I'm looking forward to it."

Three hours. Three more hours of Kamenashi.

But at least it's the club this time, people don't just know where he is, they're all around, and he knows this place, knows it well.

Kamenashi plays polite as he thanks Yamatani for his indulgence, but when he turns to Jin, his look is openly satisfied. "Whenever you're ready."

Kamenashi's wine glass is still almost full. Jin drains the rest of his cocktail, sets the glass back on the table and says, "I'm ready."

It earns him a sharp glance and for once he wants to smile into it, but he's not as stupid as that. Just watches Kamenashi push his own glass aside, and rise. "Let's go."


Kamenashi says nothing when he unlocks the door. Standard room again, they're all pretty much the same, except this one is on the inside of the floor and has skylights to make up for the four solid walls.

He waves Jin through then closes the door behind them, and Jin stops after a few steps, silent on the thick carpet, and doesn't look up at the stars, remembers not to feel trapped.

Kamenashi indicates he's welcome to use the toilet. Jin's quick about it, doesn't need to stall. He's in the club, he knows exactly where the panic button is, and if Kamenashi wants to insult him some more, fine, he'll think of the job and the pay and being out of here in a few hours. It's just fucking. Drying off his hands, he thinks that between the two of them they don't even have enough ties for sudden bondage urges.

Kamenashi goes in after him, and Jin takes his jacket off and hangs it on the stand beside the couch.

When Kamenashi comes back out, he goes over to the minibar and turns over one of the heavy glasses. "I'd offer you a drink," he says, "but I wouldn't want to get you worried." The narrow look he gives Jin when he leans against the polished wood, glass still in hand, says he doesn't mind Jin worried at all.

Jin ignores the tone, ignores the baiting. "Some water will be fine, thank you," he says, and waits.

Kamenashi puts the glass back down and doesn't get him anything. Stands and regards Jin, and Jin knows that look, the one where they undress you with their eyes, waiting for you to catch up. Good; if he's going to be as fast about this as he was about the blow job, Jin can live with that. Not like slow will get you to nice, with this guy.

He reaches for his tie but he's barely loosened the knot when Kamenashi's voice stops him, harsh and cutting. "Would have liked to go with that old man," Kamenashi says. "Wouldn't you."

Jin lets his hands drop. He'll probably want to be dressed for this. He doesn't say yes, but he won't deny it, either.

"Wonder what he's got to do to get you to play nice," Kamenashi says. "Or maybe he doesn't, maybe you get to do whatever you want. Is that what you like, is that why you were so desperate?"

Oh, to hell with him. He knows it looked desperate, was desperate, but with anybody normal it would never have happened like that and he's not embarrassed, only sorry that he can't tell Kamenashi everything he'd rather do for a guy like Yamatani before he'd choose to spend ten minutes in a room with an asshole like him.

"Or do you just like them old?"

"I like them s—" Jin stops himself, rule sixteen of Johnny's, don't question your client's sanity. But Kamenashi is looking at him encouragingly, all insistent curiosity and somehow he can't leave that dangling when it's Yamatani, when Kamenashi thinks he's better, as if anyone would prefer…

"Civil," he finishes, for lack of a better alternative.

"Really," Kamenashi says slowly, without moving. "Is that what you call it." Lets that hang in the air as if Jin's going to elabourate, stares at him in the dim light of the single lamp, half his face in shadow. "Well. I noticed he didn't seem too eager to make a claim."

"Yeah, he knows what's polite." And it feels good to see it hit home in Kamenashi's eyes, and like very very bad news, but he'd care more if… no, Kamenashi can't take that to Ootomo, he was just saying… let Kamenashi try to turn that against him, just let him try.

"I'm surprised you're so fond," Kamenashi says at last. "Guy like that must be a lot of work for you, even if he's… civil." He takes a predictable step forward and of course, it'll be orders and sucking and fucking next, and whatever.

"I don't comment on valued clients," Jin replies, and thinks for a hysterical moment that Ootomo would be so proud.

"And the baker, is he civil? Seems to find your mumbling and fumbling charming at any rate," Kamenashi muses but it's not so idle now, not so satisfied, and then he's close enough to touch and Jin focuses on things that help, that help with any client, that Kamenashi smells clean and showers and gets hard fast, doesn't taste weird. "And the prosecutor! What a busy night for you indeed."

Something in Jin freezes because that… "That was different," he says even though it's none of Kamenashi's business but this is wrong, this is a guy who did Jin a huge favour and he can at least set the record straight even if he'd bite off his tongue before telling Kamenashi what that meant to him. "We were just talking."

Kamenashi's eyebrows shoot up. "Talking?" He looks very intrigued now, his flat palm warm through Jin's shirt. "Japan's chief prosecutor, degrees from top universities, what would you and an elite like that talk about?" Fucking asshole. "Didn't think you'd appeal to the brainy ones."

"Right," Jin says tightly because he can't pass that up, he can't, not when Kamenashi makes it so easy… "Is that why I'm here with you?"

And Jin's shoulders hit the wall, Kamenashi's hand in his hair, Kamenashi's whole body trapping him, and then Kamenashi's mouth is by his ear, hissing, "But you're not here for conversation." And Kamenashi's hand is fast on his belt, on his fly, down his pants, and he jerks away but the hand in his hair pulls tight and there's a mouth on his, a hard kiss forcing his lips open and Kamenashi's other hand wrapping around his cock, pressure and pull and what the fuck and a tongue pushing inside his mouth, and Kamenashi's hand moving, firm, warm and it's fast, fuck it's fast and fuck that whisky…

"See," Kamenashi breathes, right against his face, and Jin wants to sink away from him, wants not to be hard, wants to stop feeling— "I don't need to get you drunk." And kisses him again, messy and mean and the stroking keeps… god, and then Kamenashi bends Jin's head back against the wall and swipes his tongue up his neck and his hand on Jin moves, and moves, and there's a flick and again and Jin shudders and closes his eyes and holds his breath.

"Still rather go with the old guy?" Kamenashi whispers against his ear, and fuck yes because he wouldn't be like this with his head spinning, with Kamenashi's breath hot and cold on his wet skin and Kamenashi moving on him and pressing into him, all along his body now and Kamenashi's hips give him a slow little nudge and another one, and it doesn't help, it doesn't help. "Or Nishikido, or Kato, or any of those guys you seem to like so much…"

Jin bites his lip, stifles a gasp when that mouth is on his throat, and when it moves he can't, it just slips out, a shameful little noise when the suction turns to teeth and Kamenashi breathes against him fierce and the hand on his cock does… something, warm dry faster and tighter and faster and he's not… he doesn't… he can't… and he knows and… "You sure seemed popular tonight." A sharp scrape of teeth against his jaw and he jerks, gasps into a rough tug, and he's lost, he's coming with a choking sound, coming and panting, and sweating, and the hand on him won't stop and he can't stop and—


Oh fuck.

He's not going to be embarrassed. He's not. And maybe he doesn't quite have his breath back but Kamenashi is right there in his face, smug and pleased and Jin stops straining against the hand in his hair, eases his head back, because he's not the one who's crazy and pathetic and— "Jealous?" he breathes.

For a moment Kamenashi seems even closer. Then he pulls out his hand, slippery with Jin's come, and wipes it carefully on Jin's shirt. He holds Jin's eyes and traces along Jin's collar with his fingertips, a ghosting touch, too light and too much on Jin's skin. "Just not popular enough for any of them to pay to fuck you tonight." He gives his own hand a fleeting glance, smiles a sharp little smile at Jin. "And I'm so glad we've established how civil you like it."

He steps in close again, close enough for their legs to touch and Jin feels the wall unyielding at his back and he wants to shut it all down but he can't, he's still responding, still shivery.

"Now start with your shirt," Kamenashi says calmly, and his hand never lets go of Jin's hair. "It's not fair if you have all the fun, is it?"

Fine. Undressing. That's easy. Really easy. He brings up his hands, keeps them close because Kamenashi is close, close and warm and turned on and he doesn't need to feel Jin's hands trembling but getting off a tie, that's easy. Really easy.

Kamenashi's forearm is tense against the side of Jin's face and he's watching like he's waiting for something, for Jin to struggle probably cause there's nothing like some cheap domination to make an asshole's night complete, so Jin relaxes his neck and meets Kamenashi's eyes, drops the silk to the side. See? Really easy, and his heart rate is slowing down, too.

Kamenashi nods slowly. Buttons now.

He manages the first one; when his hand drops down to the next, Kamenashi reaches out, puts two fingers on the base of his throat and just— hovers, strokes a bit, ominous and unnerving, but Jin doesn't swallow and he doesn't drop his gaze and he manages the second button and moves on. His skin prickles under Kamenashi's fingertips as they follow him down, prod him when he gets caught, and he starts to hurry, away from that hand and that's stupid. Makes everything just harder, those small buttons and his sweaty fingers and Kamenashi looming like this. Would help if he could look at what he's doing. Would help if he could move his head.

Kamenashi's looking.

Seems fascinated by the whole clumsy mess, his cock hard against Jin's hip and an elbow heavy on his shoulder, and when Jin is finally done with the last button he runs his palm flat down Jin's stomach and Jin sucks in a breath because it tickles, or would tickle if he hadn't just come, right now it's too intense.

Kamenashi lifts his head, flicks his hand against the sides of Jin's shirt and Jin wants to point out that if Kamenashi's in a hurry to get to the fucking there are more efficient ways to get Jin out of his clothes than this. But whatever, he won't argue with Kamenashi's logic and Kamenashi's logic seems to require him being held immobile by his hair and pressed against a fucking wall forever and what is that guy's fascination with his face anyway.

Because Kamenashi is staring again; giving Jin room a bit to pry his shoulderblades from plaster and paint and get out of the shirt before he leans back in, slow and deliberate and with a little thrust to keep himself entertained but with his eyes on Jin and like he doesn't even care that Jin is doing a good job of staring back disinterestedly, and maybe he should stop wondering what's going on in the guy's mind because the answer can't be good.

Kamenashi's eyes drop to his mouth, and Jin's braced for a kiss but instead he gets a sharp tug at his hair, and then Kamenashi's mouth— on his neck, hot and open and Jin keeps the gasp in now and if he closes his eyes, well, Kamenashi won't see, Kamenashi's busy. Busy and moving, and Jin holds his breath when Kamenashi's tongue flicks over his collarbone on the way to a nipple, latches on, hint of teeth and he hates this when he's just come but he won't give the bastard any satisfaction, won't even twitch.And now the hands move – at least those can't bite; over his shoulders and arms, back around his shoulderblades and fingertips tracing his spine. Down. Struggling a bit because, hello, there's a fucking wall there, but just as he thinks what fun it'll be to see how Kamenashi reconciles his squashing and fondling needs, he's pulled forward, and Kamenashi's hands are fast and certain and at his waistband and fingertips are sliding inside, pushing down, and then Kamenashi moves flush against him as the underwear goes and the hands stay, the buckle of Kamenashi's belt cold against his skin, and the touch on his ass holds him still for a slow, thoughtful grind and Kamenashi breathes against his mouth, warm and brazen, and smiles.

The wall's almost better.

Kamenashi's eyes drop to his mouth and Jin holds his breath again, thinks how weird this is from a guy who barely considers him worthy to suck his cock but— the kiss doesn't come, just another slow thrust, and Kamenashi makes some awkward motion with an elbow, raises his chin in a random little nod.

"Come on, take them off," he says, "you're not going to need them."

Oh, sure. With Kamenashi clutching him and humping him, he's supposed to get off the fucking pants, of course. Kamenashi watches him squirm and struggle and he's got to be feeling every wriggle and the way he keeps up his private little grinding session isn't fucking helping any, and when Jin's finally got his pants down his thighs he straightens and stares right back into Kamenashi's heavy eyes because it's not like he can reach any further here unless Kamenashi lets him the fuck go.

Kamenashi lets his hands wander, down Jin's ass and on his legs, around, up again while he studies Jin, looking untroubled and satisfied except for the hard-on that's pushing against Jin's thigh, and then the hands settle on Jin's shoulders. Press down, and Jin gets it.

He's not required to stand anymore anyway.

It's okay once he's got the pants down far enough, just more awkward with Kamenashi not bothering to give him space and his damn knees right… okay, fine, he's cramped but fine even if his face is right in Kamenashi's crotch, and hey, they've almost got a routine from here. Jin keeps his hands to himself when Kamenashi presents his cock and he just takes a breath, it's hot in this small space, when Kamenashi grabs his hair again and pulls his head back to… okay, like that. Sure. Walls tonight, all the way.

Then Kamenashi takes a step to follow, his shoe right there between Jin's legs and… best not to think about that, best just to open his mouth and let Kamenashi shove his cock in and suck.

He hopes this is just foreplay. Kamenashi mumbles some encouragement, pushes in deep once but there's no follow-through, and it's jerky, this could take a while this time round and it's not exactly comfortable already, with his head pinned to the wall and the heat and Kamenashi's entire body crowding him, and the random rough thrusts that aren't even rhythmic.

And Kamenashi's in no hurry with what he's doing, just keeps his grip tight while he rolls his hips, experiments, changes angle, depth, all up to him now but it figures, Jin's just a pretty mouth to fuck, not required to contribute, to adjust, to… breathe, he focuses on breathing when it's easiest, when Kamenashi pulls back far before going deep, and he tunes out the sweat and the heat and the sound of Kamenashi exhaling when he finds something he likes, and at least the guy is keeping his commentary to himself this time.

Just keeps going, a persistent pace now, and Jin holds still. If he doesn't try to move he won't feel how much he can't. He ignores the knee moving right in front of his stomach, the foot between his legs. Holds really still when Kamenashi brings up his other hand to join the party, settling it damp and insisting on Jin's face even though he hasn't anywhere left to go, and the air around him just gets tighter.

But then Kamenashi tilts him just so, and… maybe he's got himself sorted out at last because… okay, yes, the rhythm picks up now, and maybe it's the extra kick he gets out of tracing Jin's lips around his cock going in and out and it gets fast, hard and fast and full in his mouth, and Jin's head bumps into the wall before the grip on his hair tightens, adjusts for the rougher pace, and he hopes they're getting somewhere soon, he wants that hand out of his face and he wants to breathe.

But it goes on, and he tries to ignore as much as he can, focuses on keeping his mouth open, just taking it, not pushing the asshole away, and then it stops. Kamenashi's cock pulls out with a wet sound, and the heavy hand lifts and there's air and he blinks, breathes, and Kamenashi's standing there with his cock pointed straight at Jin's face and what the fuck. He twists his head away and fuck that hurts, and when he stills Kamenashi lets go of his hair, finally, like it's an afterthought, and he's frowning down at Jin like Jin's some weirdo he can't puzzle out, now there's a joke.

But…fine, that was stupid. Jin knew the guy wasn't even close, and it's not surprising he wants a change now, he's had a blow job already and he didn't pay for a comfort just so he could get Jin off.

He tries not to look relieved, about those hands gone at last or anything else, just waits and looks up into the darkened eyes which are unreadable now, and it's like an eternity before Kamenashi lifts one shoulder, half shrug and half instruction, and says, "I think I prefer to fuck you this time."

And steps back, and Jin gets up shakily and bends to untie his shoes and stops looking at Kamenashi, taking a daring chance that Kamenashi has no secret kink about seeing whores wobble around with their pants around their ankles.

He straightens when he's done, and Kamenashi nods towards the bed. Yeah, he could have guessed that. He gets over there, ignores Kamenashi behind him and the staring he can feel, sits down and shifts back, legs stretched out in front of him, and waits. Kamenashi has followed him to the side of the bed but doesn't say anything, and Jin's not going to assume anything either, will just stay put. Another one of those long intrusive glances and then Kamenashi drops his fancy pants where he's standing, unbuttons his shirt, loses the underpants. Guy likes to fuck naked. Maybe Kamenashi should look into that, it's so normal.

Kamenashi's eyes creep all along his body, and Jin sits still on the big bed and reminds himself he's used to being here, it's not that different just because Kamenashi's an asshole. The panic button is right over there.

When Kamenashi moves he doesn't get on the bed, he goes for the nightstand, snatches out a condom and he's already torn it open before Jin can look away.

He tears open another pack. Gets himself slick too, completely unembarrassed.

So, fast. Fast works for Jin. He just wants to get out of here.

Then the bed dips under Kamenashi's weight and… Jin's confused, a hand on his shoulder and Kamenashi's right there, wrong for everything, before Kamenashi pushes him, prods him until he's lying on his side.

Kamenashi settles behind him, close.

Weird and intimate when he can't see the guy but he'll deal, and then Kamenashi shifts, warm here and slick and cool there and fingers spreading him and Jin knows how to breathe, and open up. He feels Kamenashi's breath on the back of his neck as he slips inside, one long exhalation. He's hard enough. All that wall action. A lazy grind, Kamenashi's arm wrapping around him.

Not fast. Not what Jin had hoped for.

Kamenashi's hand trails over him, curious like before when Jin couldn't see, couldn't move, and Jin still doesn't move except to go with the nudges, a sloppy rhythm, Kamenashi tracing his muscles, keeping him close.

There's deep pleased breaths, not the least bit self-conscious, like he doesn't care what Jin hears. His hand is random on Jin's chest, his stomach, for a moment it tickles but then Kamenashi moves again inside him.

It's distracting and he hates it. Hates the hands and the warmth at his back, the damp air at his neck, and that it won't go faster, it won't go… anywhere. Kamenashi's not even trying, just fucking leisurely like he's got all the time in the world and Jin can just wait it out.

If he thinks of Jin at all.

Kamenashi's fingers have found his dick, play with it, surprisingly gentle. They probe and tug like Kamenashi's never touched a dick before and it goes on and on, casual like he owns Jin.

"You're not too bad like this either," Kamenashi whispers thickly against Jin's neck. "I should take my time more. Least you're good value like that."

Just the vote of confidence he was looking for. Kamenashi's hand slides into Jin's hair, pulls his head back and Jin twitches; it's as far as he gets in terms of running away when he knows he can't, and Kamenashi gasps, and the next push comes harder. He's liking it. More weight behind it that tips Jin forward, Kamenashi moving him a little bit that way so he can like it more.

It's one thing Jin just doesn't get. He doesn't like touching people he hates. But Kamenashi's happy, his hand spreading out over Jin's back, feeling all the tension, some real thrusts now when Jin stretches a certain way.

Those fingers curl around his hips with instructions, and Kamenashi goes deeper with a gasp, as if Jin's hips yielding to his rhythm is the hottest thing ever. Jin just wants to squirm away; Kamenashi's been too close too long already and it sucks and his skin no longer knows where he feels Kamenashi most. But even Kamenashi can't last forever.

Jin keeps his eyes shut and his face down, it's hot against the sheet but he can't turn his head, wishes Kamenashi would push him flat already. Wishes he could do shopping lists in his head or remember English words and didn't get sidetracked by what's happening to his body.

Other guys grope him too, and he hates it and he doesn't know why this is worse unless it's that Kamenashi makes everything worse.

On and on it goes. Above him Kamenashi shifts without comment, moves him a little too, whenever he wants a new angle. Nudges his knees wider apart, wraps around him and goes deep. Deep but no chase, no urgency, maybe he wants to prove Jin wrong about forever. Maybe he's just really having fun.

He says nothing. It's like Jin's not even there, except for getting fucked.

On and on. And more shifting, and some air between their sticky skin, and Kamenashi is kneeling, a deeper slant, sharper thrusts. Finally. A few of those and the push comes, Jin's flat down at last and Kamenashi pulls his hips towards him.

Wants… nothing much still. This and that, go in like this and like so, it feels like a test drive and it makes him crazy. Playing around, the fucking version. He hates that he can't tune it out, usually when it's just his ass and some guy he can manage not to care.

"Higher," Kamenashi says when it's not enough, and has Jin scramble back on his knees; Kamenashi tilts his hips up more with firm hands, holds him open for shallow dips over and over, and Jin can feel him watching it.

When he finally slams down it's a relief; Kamenashi spreads him wider and there's the rhythm, thrusts going deep, easy at last.

Kamenashi's hand is back in his hair, tight, controlling, pushing him down in the mattress but Jin doesn't mind, it's raw and rough but they will be done, and he manages to turn his head so he can breathe at least and just hangs on, lets Kamenashi use whatever force he likes to take what he bought, and now it will stop, it will stop.

Finally Kamenashi gasps loud, fingers digging into Jin's hip as he jerks against him, getting his money's worth on the last few slams and the weight on Jin's back gets even harder and then he stills, then it's over.

He sinks forward when Kamenashi lets go of his hair, the hand coming down on the back of his neck, stroking over his shoulder, sweaty and casual all the way down to his ass and who cares, let him get his last few gropes in before he… right, here they go.

He gives Kamenashi time to get off the bed before he stretches out his legs and turns around. Kamenashi is halfway to the bathroom and Jin sits up, rolls his neck a little, carefully. A long hot shower will take care of that. A long hot shower he'd like sooner rather than later, and here's hoping Kamenashi doesn't change his pattern and won't make Jin hang around for the full three hours. But since the guy's been clear about having no use for Jin outside of fucking, Jin might just get lucky.


He's not going to contemplate the fact that the first time Kamenashi saw him after it was supposed to be all over, he ended up hiring Jin twice in one night. Not here.

His skin is still prickling from the air, the absence of touch. He gives the scattered mess of his clothes over by the wall a quick glance as he scoots forward, pushing his legs off the bed, but no point tempting fate. There are no sounds, the bathrooms are designed that way, but he doesn't have to wait long.

Kamenashi comes out still naked, still shimmering with sweat and still an asshole because the look he gives Jin, like he's almost surprised to find him there, turns into that exasperated sneer again and guess what, Jin didn't ask for this fucking assignment, didn't ask for Kamenashi to buy him drinks and jerk him around and pin him against a fucking wall for a blow job, with his fucking hands everywhere.

He gets up, doesn't ask for permission this time, and walks past Kamenashi's wary scowl because he needs to piss and he's allowed and he's going to wash the guy's hands off his face.

So he does, and it clears his head, and when he comes back out Kamenashi is by the bar, has wrapped himself up in a bathrobe and is holding a glass of whisky, one arm crossed over his chest, and from the body language and the tense way he's watching Jin, someone who cares might be tempted to suggest he ought to try yoga instead of whores, it might relax him more.

Jin doesn't go near him, gets closer to the bed again. "Is there anything else you'd like?" he asks politely, just like they teach you in whore-school, even if he skips the extra credit for enthusiasm.

Kamenashi takes a swallow of his drink and when his eyes meet Jin's again, they are cold and he lifts one eyebrow mockingly. "What, like… conversation?"

Jin's not going there. His aim is to get out of here, not trade insults with the client, and he doesn't have to deal with this, he can wait. Just wait.

"I think I'll pass," Kamenashi says, and he seems pleased, in that generally displeased way of his, seems to think he's won.

But Jin's got no problem letting him think that, is only careful not to show how much it's not a problem, just bows a little and goes to pick up his clothes.

His hands are steady this time, but he doesn't rush anyway. Steps into underpants that are still damp at the trousers that'll have to be cleaned because Kamenashi didn't care how much of a mess he made. The stains on the shirt have dried, fabric gone stiff. He does the tie, too, and when he lifts his head to bring the end up through the loop, Kamenashi puts his glass down on the bar, and he catches another one of those stares like Jin's mere presence is a grave offense and maybe the bastard could just leave him alone, very easy solution there. He finishes the tie coolly; professionally.

And then he ignores Kamenashi's glower, makes the appropriate bow and says, finally, "Enjoy our stay."

He keeps expecting… something, whatever… when he opens the door and walks through and closes it carefully behind him.

Nothing. They're finished.

He doesn't wait for the elevator, takes the fire stairs down.


Maybe Ootomo should have his ears examined.

But whatever, tonight is over, and he walks quickly through the stylish lobby and past the official doors to Konoe-san's and Ootomo's offices, enters the code to the door that no client ever passes and is back, is better, in the plain surroundings behind the scenes.

Maybe not Ootomo's fault at all. Ootomo is a lot of things, but he's not the crazy one.

Satoshi and Tadayoshi are packing their stuff when he slips into the break room, and Shota looks up from buttoning his shirt, nods at him, damp hair falling into his eyes. Jun is leaning against the back of one of the armchairs, dressed down in designer jeans and a black t-shirt, leather jacket slung casually over a shoulder, his bag at his feet. Jin checks the digital clock on the microwave. Eleven thirty. Kamenashi kept him just long enough with the joyful fucking experiments to make the subway a gamble. Figures.

"You done for the night?" Tadayoshi asks him, and nods at Shota, who's finished dressing. "We're heading for the station, can't wait long but if you hurry…"

It's nice of them to offer; it's a bit of a walk, and not so well-lit once you're off the main street. But Jin shakes his head. "No, it's fine. I'd probably miss the last connection in Shinagawa." He's okay with staying.

"I hear you've been busy today," Jun says, and it takes Jin a moment to realize Jun's talking to him and then he gets it, people are talking about— "You sure have this one all fired up for you." Jun's look is benignly appraising and Jin is just frozen. "And a hot, young one for a change, too."

It's finished. It's finished, Jin doesn't want to talk about it. People congratulating him on… No. Finished. He shrugs.

"Jaejoong told me about that," Tadayoshi says. "The second time, I mean. He must be really into you, he doesn't even do second rounds when he's paid for the night."

"Aww, limp issues already?" Jun asks. "At his age?"

Jin turns away. Don't these guys have trains to catch?

"Nah, he's good. Just sweet. One of the 'real date' types."

Jin can feel their eyes on him, waiting for his verdict on Mr Romance. But for once he finds something to say. "Hey, which poor bastard got stuck with Nakamaru?" Not that Jin wouldn't have taken Nakamaru, tonight – he'd have taken anyone, smelly Suzuki or that jerk Nakai or even fucking Eda, if he'd been around.

"That would be me," Shota says. "He's not so bad, he just needs a bit of steering. I think he admitted he's into uniforms…"

Jun giggles. Jin likes him when he does that, silliness cracking through the gloss. "Ooh, General Nakamura-chan, will you show me your pistol…"

Tadayoshi slings his bag over his shoulder and grins at Shota. "Yeah, you're the man for costumes, aren't you?"

"Shut up," Shota says with a pissy edge, grabbing his own stuff as well. He runs a hand through his hair, then chooses damp over missing the train. "I was on my own time for that." He raises his hand in goodbye, and Tadayoshi smiles at them. "And I didn't fuck anybody," Jin hears him as they head out the door. "Paranoid bastard."

"That, he is," Jun comments even though Shota can't hear him anymore, and he stands up, communicating to Satoshi that he may be willing to share a cab out to Shibuya but not to wait out the scrupulous adjustment of shoelaces for a perfect fit.

Jin doesn't need to take a cab. He could, but he doesn't like to blow money like that when he's still getting used to having money. He's just started seriously saving.

Besides, he likes it here. It's warm and clean and it beats being out in the cold and dark because you missed your train, too.

Good for Shota he's no longer in trouble.

Slowly, he shrugs out of his jacket, turns to wave to Jun and Satoshi as they go, and then it's quiet.

He takes off the rest of his clothes, drops them in the hamper; grabs the towel out of his locker and pads through to the shower room.

Soap is good, lots of soap. Soap smells fresh and not at all like Kamenashi's sweat or even his own, and the warm water eases that touch off his skin, the grip that just moves him whichever way, just because somebody can. He lets the hard spray drum against his shoulders and thinks Kamenashi's pathetic, he might as well have just jerked off for all that it even mattered Jin was there.

But now Jin's here, and he's clean and alone and he can rinse it all off, let it all drain away. The water keeps coming and he's getting drowsy from the warmth, and in here he can be, because nobody's coming to grab him and shove him around and push him down and… touch him.

And it's been worse, with Kamenashi. This was merely unpleasant and unexpected and if next time… if…

If he remembers the fancy conditioner his hair will be easier to manage tomorrow, so he takes the bottle, focuses to squeeze out the usual huge blob because it's not full and the plastic is tough and it takes some determination, then he concentrates on rubbing it in just so, starting from the roots like somebody told him here, and then he breathes deeply in the sandalwood-scented steam and keeps his head under the shower and his eyes closed and listens to nothing.


The lights in the hallway feel soft after the sparkling brightness of the bathroom. He's still alone on the floor. In the break room he wraps a towel around his head when he starts dripping on his clean dry t-shirt, and gets organized. Guys are likely to come in here for a while yet, to shower or just pack and go, or maybe stay. But if he's in the dorm with the lights out, nobody will try to talk to him or ask him nosy questions about his amazing time with his hot young client.

He rolls out the futon in the corner furthest from the door just like he's done the first time and every time since. Kills the lights, slips under the cover, clean smell of detergent and a solidity under him that's different from the guest room beds, feels more stable.

Kamenashi can't get at him here. Nobody can, that's the point, and it feels good.

He can hear the break room door open and close, but quietly; people who come in here are considerate, are on his side. He turns over in the dark, stretches out on his stomach and wiggles his toes while his feet are warming up.

They let him stay here even before he was ready to see clients, while they were still running background checks, sorting accommodation, training him how to flirt politely with dull ministers and jumpy celebrities, and he remembers those first three nights, when just lying here and being warm and knowing there were several locked doors between him and outside was… he'd almost forgotten what it felt like not to be afraid.

He can put up with creeps and assholes, for this. At least here, creeps and assholes is all they are, even Kamenashi, they don't mean you end up dead in the street with nobody even knowing what happened to you.

Subaru had had no one, too, before Jin, and even Jin… god.

He fishes his cheap new mp3 player out of the bag beside him, puts on soft music to fall asleep to, because he can, it's safe, and if he weren't suddenly feeling so heavy and exhausted he might have some hot chocolate from the common supply, because it's there. Instead, he just flips past a couple of fast songs to a quieter one, shifts down deeper under the warm covers and that's good, too.


Chapter 9


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